Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Yay! We are finished...wait where is the title!?- Jamie Lightner

Well, we are finally there!!!!! Jess and I just sent our book off to the typesetter this week! Yay! I can’t believe it. I started writing 13 years ago, my sister and I have been working on it together for 4 years now, and finally I can say our FIRST book is done!
So a huge thanks to all of you who have cheered us on! The crazy part, is we achieved finishing the book but are struggling to title it. Lol One would think that be the easy part. Nope. The stories were easier, it was basically just documenting our lives. Lol
We are inviting you to help us with the title! I am posting a survey on the blog so you can vote on the ones we have come up with….or feel free to post an original yourself. :)
So if you feel like havin a little fun, look for the survey on the left, and VOTE! If you read the blog on your phone you have to select the "view web version" to see the survey.
I am posting the introduction to our book below so you can get an idea of what it is about.
This book is about… Well, I would like to start off by telling you what this book is NOT about. This book is NOT the “Kid 101” manual. This book will NOT guarantee that your kids won’t argue, whine, or make messes. This book is NOT a “How to potty train in 12 hours” manual. In fact, if you are potty training while reading this book, I can almost guarantee that you will still be potty training when you are done, especially if you have a boy. This book is not how to create the “perfect” kid, nor is it how to be a “perfect” parent. This is the book you read BEFORE you read all those “How-to” books. Because, no matter what “parenting manual” you read, no matter what discipline technique you use, and how consistent you are at using it…you will still have those crazy days when NOTHING seems “manual”-friendly. There will be days your precious angels aren’t parent-friendly, and definitely days when you, the parent, aren’t kid-friendly! This book is about “how to” survive THOSE days. This parenting business is the worst, best, exhausting, most fulfilling, scary, chaotic, amazing job we will ever have. Time and time again, I have met parents who use the condition of their house, their kids’ behavior, or other people’s expectations as a “measuring stick” to determine whether or not they are a GOOD parent. I’ve been as guilty of this as anyone else at times. In fact, one day I realized I had a chronic problem (and, no, it wasn’t drinking, unless you count coffee!): I carried a “judgment” bat around and used it to beat myself up emotionally about everything, especially when it came to my parenting. I knew something needed to change, but I didn’t know what. Fortunately, I stumbled into a TurningLeaf seminar on emotional growth, and it was there that I began learning about “Value Based Parenting” and that I really didn’t have to be perfect to be a GREAT mom!
Not only was I hurting myself with my “measuring stick” mentality, but being so hard on myself was affecting the way my kids responded to me. When we create unrealistic expectations of ourselves, we feel so defeated that we don’t have any energy left to actually parent. Our kids sense this negative energy, which magnifies the everyday challenges that simply come with raising kids. Instead, what if we learned to give ourselves some grace and laugh at the hilarious adventure of parenting? I’ve been on this parenting journey for almost 15 years now, and let me tell ya, NO two kids are alike! Every child is different—some are more strong-willed than others—and there is NO “right” way of doing things. No magic formula. No manual for exactly how to parent in order to have a good kid. TurningLeaf’s Value Based Parenting principles thought me that I could stop judging myself for the mistakes I made and stop judging myself for my kids’, at times, embarrassing behavior. I realized everything that happened was part of a growth process for me and for them. I finally relaxed a little and really started to enjoy being a parent!
Five years ago, my sister had her first son and joined the parenting business. Together, we realized that one of the best ways to battle the harmful cycle of getting down on ourselves as parents was to laugh and cry together as we shared the CRAZY adventures and mishaps that we often had with our kids. This book is a collection of many of our stories. We want you to know your kids are NOT the only ones making a scene in the store or throwing spaghetti at your head. You’re not the only parent who fears your kids might need therapy when they’re older or is tempted to sell them on E-bay at times. We all have those days!
So, it’s time to put the “bat” down and start learning to laugh at life’s mishaps! We invite you to witness our experience as perfectly imperfect moms—GOOD moms. We hope that by inviting you into our lives and sharing what we have learned along the way, you find encouragement, kinship, and maybe even some tools to help you feel good about you and enhance your “perfect” parenting abilities. We hope you take on the challenges we have given you at the end of each chapter. These are challenges that have helped us, personally, to put down the bat, accept ourselves, and love the experience of parenting with its many ups and downs. We invite you to laugh with us, cry with us, pull your hair out with us, and enjoy the candid stories of two sleep-deprived, coffee-filled, almost gripped-with-insanity, but perfectly imperfect moms


  1. Jamie!
    I didn't know you were writing a book. I would love to read it some time. With your humor I'm betting it will be pretty great!
    That's a really long time to work on writing a book, how did you never give up? I feel like if I was writing there would have been a million times I would have been annoyed with my old writing, or would have gotten writer's block. How did you get past that?
    I love how your book won't be a fake "how to in __________ a couple hours". There needs to be more books about the realistic pieces of parenting.
    I can't wait to read it!!!

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  3. Katie,
    Thanks so much for your response. I see that you have a blog too. I read one of your posts! Adorable. Keep writing!!