Did my 3 yr old just call me a Butthole???-Jessica Warren

We had a busy day ahead of us.  I wasn’t worried though…Zayne has been doing great!!  I no longer feel like I have to explain to everyone about his attitude because it usually doesn’t flare up except for select incidences.  Well…every mom knows as soon as you let your guard down and DON’T have a conversation about how to behave in a store our children somehow have sensors that go off and are challenged to make mom go gray before getting home. 

We stopped at SAMS and even though I felt like I needed a loan to cover what I bought we were doing great!!  Z was doing great!  We left and had just enough time to get to our doctors apt.  We were with the doctor for about an hour and I’m not kidding, I think Zayne talked the whole time J  Asking the doctor about “His doctor stuff”, and “Why does that machine look like that?” and “Does he drive a truck or a car, cause his daddy drives a truck and he likes to mow the lawn.”    EVERYTHING you could think of…and random.  Nothing went with anything else he said.  But it was adorable!!  Seeing him so comfortable with a doctor is such a wonderful thing.  I just watched how much he has grown and how fast his little mind works. I think I left the docs office on a high!  Just me and my little boy J  A day out with mom!  We stopped at Lowes and just browsed the flowers…he loves to look at the “Kitchens”!!!  He sat on ALL the lawn mowers and helped me pick out a flower.  On our way home I made one more stop for my sister at GFS.  I was so happy how the day went I didn’t prepare him before going in.  I usually say something like “we are going to go in and get this.  Nothing else.  So whats Mom gonna say if you ask to buy something?”  He will answer and say “No.”  It usually helps….ALOT.  So I didn’t have that conversation and in we went.  I found the frozen isle and went to work trying to find the cookies.  Not knowing exactly what Jamie wanted I was texting her back and forth for the best deal.  Somewhere in between the texts I could hear my sons voice…”Mom…I want these popsicles…..Mom…..MOM……I WANT POPSICLES.”  As his mood started to escalde I remembered we didn’t have “The talk”.  Oh shoot. I knelt down and told him we weren’t going to buy anything and that we were just helping Aunt Mame out.  Yeah….the talk doesn’t work in the store…never has and I don’t think it ever will.  “NO MOM…..”  He screamed.  “I NEED MY BINK.”  That is usually a for sure sign that he is NOT feeling good.  “Ok…lets get these cookies and I’ll get your bink in the car.”  I tried saying to distract him.  “NO MOM!! I WANT POPSICLES……MOM…..TALK TO ME.”  He screamed as I started into the freezer.  I grabbed a couple boxes and headed to check out while he kept screaming behind me.  I’m just ignoring him as I pull out my debit card and then I hear  “FINE….I’m not your friend.   And I’m gonna scratch you.”  He proceeds to scratch me as the cashier stares at me wide eyed wondering why I am not dealing with my out of control child.  I keep ignoring him and grab our stuff.  As we were walking to the car he screamed “You are a BUTTHOLE” By now it took everything in me not to scream back at him “SO ARE YOU!”  Talk about not helping. J  The whole 35 min ride home he screamed at me because I kept taking things away.  His bink, his toy, his tv.  All of it gone.  Then I just had to turn the radio up REAL LOUD!!  After we got home I let him calm down and then we talked.  He seemed to feel so awful. Here was our conversation. 

Me: “Hey buddy…can I talk to you about what happened today?”

Z: “Yeah”

Me: “What was going on?”

Z: “I was throwing a fit cause you wouldn’t let me have a popsicle.” As he played with my hair on my shoulders.

Me: I wrapped my arms around his waist “How did you feel when You threw a fit? “
Z: “Bad.” With a pouty lip

Me: “And how did you feel when you called mom a butthole?”

Z: “Really bad.” On the verge of tears now

Me:  “Yea mom felt really bad too.  I was bummed we had to feel like that.  How do you think you would have felt if you didn’t throw a fit and just asked if we could have a popsicle later?”

Z: “Good.”

Me: “Do you know how much I love you?

Z: With tears in his little eyes he said “Yeah.” As they fell down his cheeks and put his little arms around my neck.

Me: “Oh good!! Cause it’s a lot!! Do you think you can take a time-out like a big kid now?”

Z: “Yeah” and he turned and went to sit down on the couch.

I was pretty proud of him.  I know to a lot of you that would seem like #1 I wasn’t doing a good job at parenting and #2 how could I let him carry on like that.  But if I would have dealt with him during his fit, everything I said would have fallen on deaf ears and I would have gotten CRAZY upset in the process!  And now I think he sees how he could have stopped everything that happened simply by asking a question instead of freaking out.  And most of all he had remorse, he felt bad for how he acted and wanted to show me he still loved me JIm not saying he won’t ever throw one of these fits again but at least we are making progress!!