My Husband said to me the other day. I think you just need to relax a little. You get so frustrated in the mornings getting the kids on the bus, and you get so upset if they don’t get to bed on time. I think it would be a lot easier if you didn’t yell so much. Being the calm understanding person I am. Being one who doesn’t over personalize I was able to look at the situation and calmly say, “ya know what sweetheart you are right. I am a little overwhelmed and we really could take a look at these situations and see what would work for everyone. Maybe we could come up with some creative ideas to help speed the kids up. NOT! My REAL reaction was…”Duh, we ALL wish I would stop yelling, tell me something I don’t know. Tell me something I haven’t already told myself a million times. I mean I was just at June Cleaver’s(leave it to Beaver’s mom) house the other day, asking her how she does it. All I can say is where is June Cleaver’s 2 year old and her 4th kid at that. Ya know what I think would help. It would help if when I said calmly the 1st time “ok kids hurry up it’s time to go”, that they actually pick up their pace and get on task. No, instead we have to fill up the water bottles, which mind you were part of the after school routine to be done yesterday. Of course when I asked, “did you guys finish your routines” everyone's answer was “yes”. Hmmm. My mistake, I am sure they did all their jobs and one of their siblings is just trying to sabotage them. That is their argument. Ya, I am the irrational one.
Or may be Timmy can’t find his shoes, Josh cant find his coat, cause heaven forbid we put them away when we take them off. And if it’s not that, it’s me playing referee in the bathroom cause Kate isn’t happy with the way Josh put the toothpaste away, or maybe his elbow touched hers while they were brushing. By now I have said FOUR times, that it is time to go, and yes, it isn’t so sweet this time.
Finally I shove them out the door, dig out my sweet voice again to say “I love you guys have a good day.” Shut the door with a deep sigh thinking I will be sweeter this afternoon. The next few hours of my day consist of cleaning the Kitchen, laundry, sweeping, changing Bo, getting Bo out of my folded laundry, re fold, stop Bo from drawing on the walls, put Bo in time out, feed Bo lunch, clean Bo, and clean the kitchen again. Back to the laundry, clean my bathroom, get Bo out from under my bathroom sink, put everything back under the sink, stop Bo from flushing things down the toilet, put Bo in Time out. Change Bo, Bo doesn’t’ want to be changed, put him in time out till he’s ready, finally change him. Go pick up the kids. As I walk to the van I see the cat vomit in the cat bed that I told Mike about a week ago. Of course my multitasking mind digs out the argument with Mike about why I don’t want a pet. My case being I don’t need anything else to feed or clean up after. His argument is it will teach the kids responsibility, they will take care of the cat, just relax. I get to the school, forget to put Bo in the stroller. Grab a box of work from Kate’s teacher, (‘cause I am an awesome helping room mom). Now with my hands full I chase Bo through the hall ways. Finally, I pile the box on Kate and just carrying the wiggling child out the door. Get home, walk by the cat vomit again, roll my eyes, put stuff away, snack, now chores. Argue about why we have to do chores, argue about why they have so much work to do. Then I of course give my speech when I was a kid I had to vacuum the whole house “up hill both ways”, right! After they do there chores argue about why they aren’t done sufficiently. Do them again. Finally it’s TV time kids disappear. I take this time to prepare dinner, which, yes, is easier now that Bo actually watches a movie with the kids rather than cry at my ankles. So this works well and I begin to feel like I am on top of things again. Eat dinner, clean up after dinner. Argue with kids about why they have to help clean up the Kitchen. When their jobs are done, I send them up to bedtime routine, I finish the kitchen. Head upstairs, argue with Kate about why she is reading when she hasn’t brushed her teeth or picked up her clothes, argue with Bo about why it’s time for Bed. Put the boys to bed, finally put Kate to bed. Mike and Josh play video games till Josh’s bedtime. At 9 I remind them it’s time for bed. Ten min later I remind them again. I go finish up laundry. Five-min later I yell down the stairs that it is now 15 min after Bedtime. They come up, Josh is in Bed and I take a deep sigh and see what I must finish before I can crawl into bed and do nothing. Then off to sleep I go. Up at one, Timmy’s got to pee; up at 3 Kate had a Bad dream. Then the alarm rings a 6:55 and we start the day again…
Yes, I need to find a way to stop yelling so much.
Jamie, I love this because it hits so close to home for me. My husband has said that too. Mornings are worst here the bus comes so early and none of us are morning people. I decided to try not yelling one morning and succeeded. Surprise! we missed the bus, but no one is stressed when Mommy's not stressed. Honestly it was worth being late to work. It's hard to find the right balance because it sure didn't take long to go back to yelling the next morning as I pulled kids down the driveway to the waiting bus. It amazes me how patient I can be with the kids in all the homes I go to, but am so short with the kids here. Maybe it's because I know I get to leave them after an hour where I have to deal with our kids all the time. My husband just looks at me and says "gooseflaba" whenever I need to breathe.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, it's nice to know I'm not alone.
Ella