Tuesday, February 9, 2010
To stress, not to stress, it is a choice
Stress, stress, stress. Here we are at Disney, a big family vacation we take with my Dad, which I love and I am stressed. My 5 year old can hardly stop coughing. He coughs all night. He coughs all day. He is on an antibiotic, Tussin DM, and benedryl yet still is coughing. So I bring him back to the room to rest, but he is not sleeping. So here I am in the hotel room while half my family is at Hollywood Studios and the other half is at Magic Kingdom watching the light parade. Now here I am shoulding all over myself. Well you shoulda stayed with Michael, or you shoulda gone to Magic with your Dad, that would be a nice daddy, daughter & grandson time. But no, you were trying to be responsible and get your son some rest since he will be up till midnight tonight and may cough through the night again. So you drag him back here to sleep and he isn’t sleeping. What a waste. And as I sit here wanting to cry what I want more than anything is to be at peace with it all. What keeps me from that peace? Hmmm. Well, the only thing I can think of is my undying desire to make the “right” decision. And as I say that out loud, well write it down, I start to realize all I have to do is believe there is no “wrong” decision”. I just need to know that I am doing my best and the only thing keeping me from enjoying my moment of sitting here and relaxing is the feeling that I am missing out or causing my son to miss out. I can’t should on myself enough to turn back time, so the best thing I can do is let it go, and enjoy this moment and meet up with my family at the next event, which I am quite sure I will enjoy a lot more if I am not STRESSED over what I “Should” have done today. Crazy thing is, it is all a choice, and I am the one who has to be willing to make it. I think for today, for this moment I will let it go, and see how taking the stress free avenue works for me!! So, gotta go watch cartoons with Timmy till dinner and extra magic hours tonight till midnight. Oh boy.