Friday, September 3, 2010

Bathrooms with Boys

“Put the seat up before you pee! Then put it back down when you are done.” I said for the millionth time in my career as a mom. Boys and bathrooms, what an adventure.
Often times over the years of raising boys I have walked into my bathroom and it smelled like a giant urinal. Now I’m not saying that I went for weeks without cleaning my bathroom and so it began to smell. Well, ya sure that did happen on occasion, and how often those occasions happened I am certainly not saying. Far to incriminating. But yes on the occasions that I just scrubbed my bathroom with bleach I would find 2 days later it would stink again. Well naturally I assumed that this is because my boys all came with their own personal squirt gun. And the problem is this squirt gun did not come with a scope. I have noticed the ability to aim is seriously limited. And it is crazy where the stream can end up at times.
There have been times I have sat on the toilet seat only to feel a wet sensation on my cheeks. Now considering the fact that I don’t have a “bidet” my only hope is that a freshly showered kid sat on the seat with their freshly clean wet butt. But reflecting on the fact that just before I stepped into the bathroom I was just looking at my sweaty grubby outdoor kids thinking, “Eeeeew you need a shower” this was probably not the reason for the wet seat. So, now my mind wonders to all the times I see my boys aiming to high and hitting the back of the toilet seat before shifting things downward. So here I was sitting in little boy tinkle spatter. Yuck! After disinfecting myself, I then disinfect the seat, also noticing the puddle that has collected on the side of the toilet. I’m sure this isn’t helping the smell either.
As I continue washing my hands I notice my trashcan has splatter running down the side of it. Now, I am sure there are many explanations for this. So I can’t just assume it is another aiming project gone awry. It could be opening up a pop can after it was dropped, um near the toilet? Or maybe it was a squirt gun fight in the bathroom. Now that is quite probable only I believe the water would have evaporated, not turned into a sticky, gross, gue running down the side of my trash can.
Seriously, how do they get it everywhere? Well, some of my questions were answered one day while I was standing at my vanity doing my hair. My son at the age of 5 walked in fresh out of bed for the day and assumed the position. He was actually aiming pretty well, when mid stream he lifted his hands in the air and began stretching. His head now looking toward the ceiling and both arms are stretched out, leaving the stream to wander all over the place with every shift of his stretching body.
“Timmy!” I exclaimed “Hang on to yourself, you have to aim.” I mean seriously he didn’t get the hands free model, those cost extra, and let’s face it kid’s are expensive enough.
So this was definitely shedding some light on the “smelly” subject. Boys and their toys. Although I can’t say it’s worse than the day I walked in the bathroom to find Bo, my 2 year old at the time, brushing his teeth. Sounds like a great kid I know. Problem is he was dipping his toothbrush in the toilet to wet and rinse it. Eeeeewwwwww. I could see now that getting the boys to put the toilet seat up before they pee and then back down was the least of my worries.

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