Monday, August 1, 2011

Are we there yet?

So about 2 weeks ago I tried this new diet. It is called plan to go out of town during the hottest week of the year, and then have your air conditioning break the day you head home, and just watch the pounds literally melt off your body. The problem with this diet is it’s not an individual plan, the whole family joins you whether they need to or not. Yeah, it was quite a trip. I actually just got my air fixed the day before I left town. I remember thinking on my way down to Columbus, “Whew, I am glad I didn’t try to make this trip without air this week.” Little did I know I would get my chance. On our return date the kids and I took a trip to the museum that morning. It was then I noticed the air was not working. After my “bro-in-law”, Eddie took a look at it, he came to the conclusion it was out of that “stuff” you put in it that makes your air cold. Whatever the name of it is these days I don’t know, but apparently it is an expensive requirement. Oh yay, four kids in a Van, and the old kind of van, so the middle windows do NOT roll down and the back ones open just enough to make the van loud but not REALLY help much, on a 98 degree day, I am sure you can imagine my excitement. To be honest it sounded like a science experiment with all the ingredients of an explosion of siblings. But I had to get home, so I snatched a pair of headphones from my friends so at least Bo could hear the TV. And on my way out of town I grabbed a 7lb bag of ice and divided it into quart Zip-lock bags so we could all hold it on our way home. I also decided to leave at 7pm rather than 3 in the afternoon figuring the less I was driving with the sun beating down on us the better. The first 2 hours were rough, but the kids were troopers. At first the conversation between Bo and I went like this. “Mom, blah blah blah blah” said Bo. “WHAT!” I hollered back, “Talk louder!” “MOM! ROLL THE WINDOWS UP!” he asked “I CAN’T! It’s TOO HOT!” I hollered back. “WHAT!” he said. “I CAN’T! It’s TOO HOT!” I said again as loud as I could. “TURN THE AIR ON MOM!” He requested, wondering why I hadn’t thought of it I’m sure. “THE AIR IS BROKEN.” I replied. “NO DADDY GOT IT FIXED MOM!” He said so confused. “WELL, IT BROKE AGAIN.” I said. “WHAT” he said. “IT BROKE AGAIN!” I repeated. “WHAT MOM!” he said once again. “IT!- BROKE!- AGAIN!!!!!” I said as loud as I could. “Oh” he finally consented. I was hoping he wouldn’t talk to me the whole way home. Fortunately he tired of yelling back and fourth. And boy was it hot. At one point I looked in my rear view mirror at Timmy and Kate, who were in the very back and I could see sweat dripping down their sides of their forehead, and Timmy’s hair was wet and curly as if we put gel in it.
As for me I kept moving my bag of ice. Once my lap became numb to the touch I would shift it to my back and then to my neck. It didn’t stop the sweat from dripping down my back, but it helped a little. At least for 45 minutes and by then it had melted entirely. Finally about half way home we stopped at Wendy’s and decided to dine in. As we ate our meal we took ice and just let it melt on the back of our necks, and then before we braved the hot van once again, we ordered Frosty’s to go.
We finally made it home and I thanked the kids over and over for their great attitudes despite the “balmy conditions.”

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