Thursday, March 8, 2012

What to do with bad news?

What to do with bad news? I had to sit with a client the other day as she worked through some “bad” news. I often look at my own adversities and long to just wish them away. Often times when faced with our trials, there are questions of , “why and how did this happen.” We all have different experiences in this life, but one thing we are all familiar with is the common emotion of human pain. One thing I do appreciate about us as a human race is we come together in times of pain. I find the quote by Dean Nixon to be so true, “The common thread that binds all humanity together… is human pain.” Whether it be news of a terminal illness, divorce or the death of someone close, humanity seems to let all the details of our differences fall away in support of one another. I often think of that horrible day when I watched the twin towers collapse on my TV screen. I remember thinking, “Did that just happen? There is no way that just happened?” I remember wondering what such an event would do to our country. What I found to be amazing amidst such a tragedy was our ability to unify as a nation. It didn’t matter what race, religion or even what political party anyone was, we suddenly became simply “The United States”
You also see this type of reaction on a smaller scale. With the tragic events such as high school shootings or a classmate tragically killed in a car accident. All of a sudden the typical “clicks” dissolve and the student body will come together in support of those hurting. Or it may happen within a family when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer or someone experiencing some other tragedy. Scuffles and offenses between members fall to the wayside. That is when we get a glimpse of all we hang onto that is not even important. That is when humanity gets a glimpse of what really matters.
Even as a life coach it is hard to watch people bare their personal adversities. I don’t have a magical answer that just “wishes” it away for them. There are times I want to ask “why and how” for them, however I have grown to learn through my own adversities that there is gold to find in every heap of ash. And what that gold is varies person to person. And I could write whole blog itself on how to find the gold in our adversities and I probably will, but today I would challenge you, if you find nothing else, let your trials connect you to the human race. So often we cut our selves off from our loved ones, we shut down afraid to be vulnerable even in those safe moments with friends and family. Sometimes life will knock your feet right out from underneath you, and that is ok. It is ok to sit in the middle of this world and just cry. Just cry and let the hearts of humanity surround you in support. Because sometimes that is all there is to hang onto in the moment.

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