As a parent I love to soak in those moments when my kids do something that makes me think…”Everything is going to be OK. My kids are going to do alright in this world.” As parents it is easy for us to feel overwhelmed and worry whether or not we are properly equipping our children to be strong principled individuals able to withstand the peer pressure of others and make choices that would lead them to a good-quality future. So when my kids have those moments when they actually implement the values that we have worked hard to teach them, all while wondering if they are even getting it, I just savor the moment. I have been using the Value Based Parenting method with my kids for about 4 years now and I am seeing some of the fruit appear. Ya see, Value Based Parenting is a constant sewing process, some results you see quickly, while other results show up later on. I have a couple stories I would like to share with you attesting to Value Based Parenting. A couple of stories that I will hang onto for myself as encouragement that amidst all my mistakes I make as a parent, and I doing some good.
One of my stories is about Timmy(I will share the others at later times so this blog doesn’t get so long you fall asleep half way through it J.
As some of you may recall, I had a blog post awhile back about Timmy’s words at our family council meeting pertaining to honesty. @ http://jamielightner.blogspot.com/2012/02/lesson-in-honestyits-never-to-late-to.html
Well, apparently the value of honesty is a value Timmy is beginning to internalize. A couple weeks after his “sneaking of the doughnuts” he came to me talking about his bad day at school and the conversation went like this…
Timmy: “Oh, this was the worst day ever.”
Me: “Why what happened.”
Timmy: “We had to put our heads down like 6 times today.”
Me: “Oh that’s a bummer, I remember having to do that when I was in grade school.”
Timmy: “And it gets worse mom.”
Me: “Well what happened?”
Timmy: “My friends got in trouble for flicking pencils and goofing off. And they have to be on the wall(which is simply standing on the wall while everyone plays, it is basically a time out at school) for 5 recesses.” “And I was flicking pencils and goofing off too, but my teacher didn’t see me. So I told her what I did and now I have to be on the wall too.”
Well I was curious why he told on himself so I had to ask, ‘cause I was quite surprised my 2nd grader turned himself in. And when I ask him he responded with “To be honest.” And then a week later at another family meeting, the subject of honesty came up once again, and Michael asked him why he chose to be honest with his teacher. Timmy’s answer blew me away. He said, “Well, if she would have found out later then she wouldn’t be able to trust me anymore.” And Michael said, “So her being able to trust you is important to you. You want to be trustworthy?”
“Yup.” Timmy said with a cute little grin.
What! You mean to tell me this stuff we have been teaching them is actually sinking in. They are actually internalizing and seeing the value enough to want to make it a part of their life on their own. OH HAPPY DAY!
Now by no means am I trying to give myself a “perfect parent” award, I hope you don’t misunderstand. I am just grateful for the principles taught in value based parenting method that I am seeing work in our family. And I am one who likes to hang on to those moments to help me through the tougher ones. Ya know, the moments when my daughter says, “Mom, you are ruining my life!” Yeah, those moments. Lol
To see fun promos for Value Based Parenting check out these videos…
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