Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Always kiss me Goodnight!!...or wait....

You know the saying don't go to bed mad? Or Always kiss me goodnight? I always told myself I would be one of those people. But nope...last night I was so angry at my husband I kept scooting away so our toes wouldn't touch. I mean REALLY???? What am I in 5th grade? I can't communicate with a man I've been with for 7 years, who has seen me birth 2 children (The regular way), and knows all my business. FOR REAL???? It's so funny how we know all these intricate details about a person and yet sometimes feel so vulnerable and almost naked in a sense that we have to put up our imaginary walls thinking that will keep them out. Last night I was so spitting mad the thoughts that crossed my mind were (and I'm not joking...sadly) “FINE” and “I don't want to talk to you” or how about this one “Don't touch me”. Whether our reasons are valid or not the levels we allow ourselves to get to. Well me at least. I know I am meaner than a junk-yard dog, or so I've been told, and hard to handle a lot of times but why do I digress to a point of having to protect myself from my own husband? I all of the sudden become this party of one and I tell myself I can do it all on my own. Just because of something he said that was down right dumb...I mean REALLY DUMB. The kind of dumb where you want to look at them and say “Did you really just say that to me?” But that's besides the point....we are talking about me. Forget the fact that his timing was HOROSIOUS... oh right....me. Anyway as I was saying I stoop to this level of putting up my force field I learned from Yoda to keep him outside. When in all reality he is the only one I WANT on the inside. I laid there last night trying to stay mad at him but couldn't help but feel guilty. Here I was stewing about him saying something Stupid as if he has never said something stupid to me before. BWAAHAHAHAHAHA...... oh gosh.....that's funny ;) And I'm sure its not the last stupid thing he will say to me. All this to simply VENT....or no I mean say ;) All kidding aside if we can truly believe in going to bed “NOT ANGRY” or want to adopt the “Always Kiss me Goodnight” then we need to fire the soldiers who stand guard at our so called walls we put up. Even if Jake wanted to make things better last night there was no way he was going to get past the quick sand to even attempt getting over my walls. It takes two to kiss goodnight or go to bed happy ;) If we truly want that, then we have to be the first ones to make it happen!!

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