Hello All!!! I have had some time to write and thought i would share this one! This will go in book 2 but I couldn't help but post it! My sister is amazing and I would not be sane without her amazing support!!
After finding out about the tumor my sister stepped into a
roll of dropping anything…for me. And I
was beyond thankful. I would call her up
and say “I’m losing it.” And she would
say “I’m on my way.” She started making
plans for us. Whether it was going out
to Barnes and Noble, sitting at the cottage, or riding the boat. She took it upon herself to help me still
take steps in enjoying life and simply getting through this news to where I was
strong enough to breathe on my own again.
I remember one time in particular, I had called her over to go for a run
with me. Jake had taken the boys with
him to work on the boat so I was kid free.
After we were worn out we sat on my patio soaking up the sun. Our conversation was short. Usually nothing deep and if it was it was
about the tumor. Usually me asking her
questions. How do I do this? How did this
happen? Why now? Why him? Sometimes our conversations would go like
this. “Let’s just leave Jame. Let’s pack up our little families and go
south. Let’s live in South Carolina.” I
would say while letting the breeze cool me off.
“Yea that sounds good. Live on
the water. Listen to the waves. Take our coffee down to the beach. Watch the
kids play all day.” She would always back me in the moment I would have. “Or we could do California. They don’t even get up until 10am over
there. Nothing opens up till noon. Our hubby’s could build houses and we could
shop in Laguna Beach. Go on double dates
to restaurant’s overlooking the ocean. That
sounds pretty good.” “Yea…that sounds
nice too.” She would say without opening her eyes, sitting comfortably in my
patio chair.
Later that day we were gonna meet the boys out at the
cottage for dinner. My dads wife Chris
was making dinner. Jamie left my house
to go get her boating gear. I remember
wandering through my house as if I was in a strange place. I poked my head into my boys room. Winnie the pooh covered one wall and
spiderman covered the other. What would life be like? Would he be sick? Would he lose all those beautiful curls? Would I get alone time with Ayden
anymore? Would we be good parents to
both of them in times like this? Would
we be good spouses to each other? I
sat down on Zayne’s bed and picked up his Winnie the Pooh my mother in law gave
him a couple years ago. I remember him
snuggling that little bear on the way home from lake Michigan. He was just a fat baby then. He would laugh at everything. So happy.
Content. I began to cry and
immediately put the bear on the bed and left their room. I had to distract myself. I was so tired from thinking. I just wanted my head to shut down. I went into my room and began packing my boat
clothes. As I was packing my brain began
running again. I couldn’t handle
it. I went downstairs, put some music on
and began making a dessert for the evening at the cottage. I grabbed my running shoes and threw
everything in the car. I hated driving. Just an open window for my mind to run to
places I, once again, didn’t want to go.
By the time I got to the cottage I was ready for another run just to
clear my head. I didn’t know if Jamie
would want to come with me seeing how we just ran that morning. I walked into the cottage with my tennis
shoes on and emotion obviously all over my face. Chris had put out some chips and dip and
Jamie had just dipped a chip when she turned to look at me. I stood in the doorway and didn’t say
anything. She held her chip to her open
mouth as she looked at my face, then down at my feet. She put the chip back on her plate and said
“Let me just grab my shoes.” Of course
she would run with me again. Because she
is my person. She knew I needed her and
she wasn’t about to say no, even if our legs were still jelly from that morning
or our muscles were screaming at us. She
was gonna go with me because you don’t leave your person alone with her
mind. You do whatever it takes to feel
normal again. And that day it was going
for a run. We finished our run and
slowly made our way back to the cottage.
We took in the beautiful scenery. The water, the grass, the houses. Just quite.
Not much to say. It was what it
was. And knowing she was behind was
enough for that moment.
No comments:
Post a Comment