Friday, April 16, 2010

Why not trust myself?

I was talking with my Life coach tonight about various things on my long list…raising kids, marriage, my new career, ya know, the stuff we all deal with everyday. About half way through my rambling about parenthood he asked “why don’t you trust yourself right now.” I found it intriguing that he brought it up cause about four days ago that very line went right though my head. “Jamie you aren’t trusting yourself”, “You keep looking outside of yourself for someone to tell you good job, you’re on the right track, yes that is the answer, you would be great at that, go for it.” It is funny, cause since I have been through the seminars and learning the great, liberating and empowering information, I decided I want to be a risk taker. I want to be one of those people that says, let’s go for it even when people say I can’t. I want to make mistakes and learn from them. If you look at anyone who has made history they screwed up a heck of a lot to do great things. Edison took over 1,000 times to make a light bulb, but he didn’t see it as failure. When people looked at him as a failure he said, nope, now I know 1,000 ways not to make a light bulb. And Lincoln didn’t make it into office 6 times, and then finally gets elected as president and led us through the civil war. It is stories like that inspire me. And yet the very thing that made them so great is the very thing I am afraid of, and it is basically being willing to make mistakes and keep going til you get it. They chose to believe in themselves more than the people around them believed in them. As inspiring as it sounds, there are times I still let fearful thoughts hold me back. At times I fear I will be a bad mom and screw up my kids, at times I am tempted to withhold my ideas for fear of rejection. Sometimes I resist taking on new challenges for fear of failure. And then I remember the big picture and I can’t help but think…who cares. And in that moment, I get in touch with what really matters. And what matters to me most is that I enjoy every aspect of my life on earth and I pass that on to my kids. I want my kids to dare to be who they are and be proud of themselves. I want them to believe in themselves enough to know they can do anything in life they want to do. I want them to see possibilities more than the impossibilities. I want them to be proud of who they are no matter what anyone else thinks of them. And the only way I can truly teach this to my kids is to live it before them. Cause face it, our kids are smarter than we think. They don’t fall for that do as I say, not as I do any more than we did when we were kids!
So Dean says to add Value to the fear so that you will challenge it and overcome it. So the value is I value MY OWN liberation. And I value my kids enough to teach them to believe in themselves and trust their heart. I do this by me believing in me and trusting my heart. Trust my own discernment no matter the odds and no matter what anyone else thinks!

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