Well I just spent the last 3 days at one of TurningLeaf’s amazing seminars. I love these seminars. I am always so much more at peace after them. I am sure my husband and kids appreciate them too. It seems after spending 3 days dealing with fears, throwing out old non-working beliefs, and learning to Value me, I am a happier, more patient, less stressed person to be around!! This past weekend I got a different view of vulnerability. What comes to mind when you here that word? For me it was crying and the willingness to be weak in front of someone. If you would have asked me 3 days ago if I was a vulnerable person I would have said yes, and to some extent that would have been true. But this weekend I found out first of all I have a skewed definition of vulnerable and I am not as vulnerable as I thought.
I believe now that vulnerability is a sign of strength. It is a willingness to be exactly who you are which includes your weakness and your strengths. The ability to let people see you honestly. Not you pretending to be strong or you beating yourself up. Just simply who you are in that moment. And when you accept who you are in that moment, that is what makes your vulnerability so true and so powerful.
I realized this weekend that I keep my heart very guarded and I only let it out when I think no one will reject it. But what I realized was that I was dependant on others acceptance of me. My willingness to be open was contingent upon what people would think of me when I was open. I realized I no longer want to be dependent on an outside source for my ability to be exactly who I am at any given time, whether it involves laughing or crying. My guarded heart not only keeps me separated from those I love but it restricts my growth as a person.