Friday, August 27, 2010

I am human, and that's ok.

Well today was what I call a very “human” day. Yes, in all realty I know I am human, as do we all. Yet, we all work so hard to pretend we are not. I myself like to try to be wonder women. I find myself striving to be the mom that has it all together. The mom that doesn’t forget lunches, fieldtrips, or appointments. The mom that is early and arrives with each kid showered with no dirt under the fingernails. But I am NOT wonder women, and forgetting a lunch or burning dinner I can get over. The human part of me that I have to work harder at forgiving is when I come up short emotionally for my kids.

Today I was cranky with the kids. I was irritated over chores left undone, and snapped at them for toys left out. When they didn’t listen I responded very short and irritated. I could feel the “cranky” energy just oozing off of me and it was not pretty. Bo had decided to quit being potty trained today and I was not shy about showing my disappointment. Each time I would get irritated and upset I felt justified because THEY, were not listening and had been told a million times.

But at the end of the day I feel remorse. I was wishing I had been more patient. More like the “kid” whisperer. Because at the end of the day nothing matters anymore. Just that they know I love them and I am proud of everything they are learning.

It is at this point in time that I have a choice to make. I can either feel guilty for all my shortcomings as a parent or I can learn from my mistakes, lay my head down for the night and start all over again tomorrow. Cause frankly I am a dang good mom. I love my kids so much to think of them creates a lump in my throat and a pang in my heart. And it is moments like these the very best I can be for them is “human.” To be a mom who bleeds and knows how to say I am sorry. To be a mom who despite all my shortcoming is determined as heck to do my very best. To be a mom who may get knocked down, but pulls herself back to her feet and keep moving forward.

It is times like these I humble myself before my creator and thank him for all he has given me and all he teaches me everyday. And one thing I know for sure is, if I am going through a trial, I must be learning.

So to all you parents trying to be super heroes, or maybe you are in a state of beating yourself up for you shortcomings, life is to short to spend so much time not accepting our humanity.

1 comment:

  1. I like how you strive to be wonder "women" and not wonder "woman." I've always accused you of having multiple personalities and I think this is proof. Anyway, all that other junk you said was good too.