Monday, October 25, 2010

Crazy huh

Isn’t it crazy how our happiness can so often depend so much on someone else.

I was having a conversation with someone the other day, and they made a comment to me that made me feel kinda stupid. Later on that day I realized I was still fretting about the conversation. As I looked at it, the reason I was so bothered is because I cared about what this person thought of me. And then my mind starts to running away with…”Oh, she doesn’t like you, probably never wants to hang out with you again. She probably thinks you are stupid. She would probably rather spend time with someone else. And why are you like that anyway, that was stupid what you did, you need to get your act together.” And on and on my obsessive mind went through the day.

Finally just before I finished cooking dinner I realized how long I had been stressing. I looked at the situation and realized how crazy these thoughts were and realized I probably wasn’t even accurate. And then I ask myself this question.

“Who cares if I am accurate? Who cares if she really does think you’re stupid. Who CARES!!” “Why is my happiness and peace of mind hinging this person’s opinion of me? It baffles me how so many other people can dictate how we feel. And the ironic thing is usually those other people don’t even realize we are so worried about it. We just think for them, our imagination runs and our dependency on being accepted takes over and we are now held hostage to worry and stress. When as elementary as it sounds, if I have peace with who I am, then no matter what is going on around me, no matter who agrees with me or thinks I’m stupid, it doesn’t affect my happiness.

So somehow through diner I decided that I wasn’t going to let my happiness hinge on someone else. And then I returned to LIVING my life. And after the kids went to bed my imagination began to run and I had to remind myself again, but I FINALLY let it go. Whew what a relief. To be honest my own thought are enough to keep track of, I really don’t need to keep track of everyone else’s too. Right!?!

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