I haven’t written the past few days because I have been sick, which brings me to my topic of discussion. I believe there should be fringe benefits when you become a mom. Some of which being growing 2 extra arms, really getting eyes in the back of your head, and of course the super immune system so you never, get sick. I can think back on all the years when I would get sick and I would think, “I just want to call in sick to work”, but since my “boss” was a nine month old it didn’t happen. Yup, I would spend the day trying to survive just hoping the baby would nap and the others would watch a movie so I could fall asleep on the couch. The dishes would pile up in the sink and any dropped food would just lie where it landed. Hey, I just figured I was doing good if I fed the kids.
However, I am seeing a little easier side to life. This past week when I got sick I woke my kids up for school, told them to order hot lunch, and went back to bed. Michael dropped 3 off three kids on his way to work and it was just me and Bo at home, which ordinarily would have been exhausting but he likes TV now. So we spent most of the day in our jammies watching cartoons. And then that night I asked Josh to pop in frozen pizzas for dinner. So I am glad things are getting easier, but still, the fringe benefits would be nice. Especially for the early years. My sister called me last week talking about how she was sick and my whole body cringed, she has a four month old. She definitely could use those benefits now.
I was grateful for my hubby and my older three this weekend. I had to go to urgent care and get an antibiotic, and then I just stayed in bed all day while Mike watched the kids. It was relaxing. I even watched a movie, during daylight hours, I can’t remember the last time I did that. And then that night, Michael had a birthday party to go to. He left Josh and Kate in charge and they took care of Bo all evening and even got the boys ready for bed and tucked them in to bed. It was so sweet listening to Kate to say prayers with Bo and Timmy and sing them their song. So after all those years of taking care of all the little munchkins while I was enduring being sick, this year they took care of me!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Risk
I find myself tonight thinking about risk. Any time we take healthy risks we grow. It feels good when we challenge ourselves. About three years ago I took a risk and started running. Now this may not seem like a big deal to many of you, but for me, running was a big challenge. I never liked running long distances, even as a kid. In third grade I used to cry after we had to run the mile. I know, sounds silly, but it’s true. But when Josh did the 3K with his 3rd grade class, he asked me to join him. At first I cringed at the idea. How stupid was I going to look when I passed out after one lap around the track? How silly was I going to feel as other parents passed me by? But after I ran and walked the whole thing I made a goal to be able to run one mile with no stopping and not requiring anyone to perform CPR on me. And so it began, that summer I started running everyday. I would run a little bit and then walk the rest and then the next day I would run just a little bit further. While I was challenging myself physically, I decided to challenge myself emotionally as well. Often times we are more willing do challenge our self physically while hiding emotionally. I decided to challenge myself in ways that would help move me forward in my career. So everyday I would run, and every time I ran further I would feel more successful and more powerful. I was doing something I never thought I would do, and as I felt the power building with in me I would channel it toward my goals in my career. Feeling confident I began to envision myself taking steps I had been afraid to take. And then I would challenge myself to actually go at take those very steps. It was really cool to see my progression both physically and emotionally at the same time. Everyday I ran a bit further and every week I was boosting forward in my career. Ya see, the career path that I have chosen involves a fair amount of risk, well, if I do it the way I believe I am supposed to anyway. I mean yeah, I could work real hard at trying to find a pedestal to climb up on and regurgitate the knowledge that I have learned, pretending to be some all knowing super hero, but I believe there is much more to it than that. I believe to be a good and effective life coach or parenting instructor I need to be real with my clients. I need to put my heart into my work and be me. Now you may ask, how is just being yourself a risk. I know, like duh, who else would I be. And then I would ask you this question. How often are you, YOU. If you think about your days think about how many times you didn’t give your opinion for fear of rejection, or think about how many times you reacted in protective mode throwing up your walls so no one would know you care what they think. You may even have gone as far to convince yourself that YOU don’t care what they think. I believe being your true self is one of the greatest and most rewarding risks you can take.
So anyway back to the running. It was so cool to watch myself progress both physically and emotionally at the same time, and most importantly progressing as a human being.
When I run I like to listen to music. There is this one particular song I listen to every time I run. I usually listen to it at the end of my run when I am pushing myself to keep going even though I feel I am going to pass out. The name of the song is Fighter by Christina Aguilera. As I would listen to this song I would give value to all my struggles. I would feel the ache in my legs and the pain in my lungs knowing if I pushed through, what an accomplishment it would be. If climbing Mt. Everest were easy, where would the reward be? And just as I gave my physical struggles value, I also would take the time to appreciate my emotional struggle. The moment I took a risk an accepted my adversities was the moment I became stronger. So every time I listen to that song it I say, thank you trial for what you have taught me, and I continue to fight to move forward. I no longer cower to fear. I no longer take a victim stance feeling as though I am not good enough or I have been wronged by others. I fight for my freedom. My freedom to by myself and to do great things.
Here are some of the words to the song…
After all that you put me through,
You think I'd despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
'Cause you've made me that much stronger
[Chorus:]
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Obviously, those aren’t the only words to the song, but those are my favorites. I ended up running a mile on September 11, 2008. I still remember the excitement I had that day! I was then able to run the whole 3K that following summer at the 8/80 days run in Springport. My son Josh beat me by a mile, but it still felt great knowing I did it.
As far as my career goes I finished up my certification, and absolutely love teaching the parenting classes in Lansing and Jackson. It feels great to be passing on principals that have helped me so much.
Well, those are just some thoughts that were on my mind.
So anyway back to the running. It was so cool to watch myself progress both physically and emotionally at the same time, and most importantly progressing as a human being.
When I run I like to listen to music. There is this one particular song I listen to every time I run. I usually listen to it at the end of my run when I am pushing myself to keep going even though I feel I am going to pass out. The name of the song is Fighter by Christina Aguilera. As I would listen to this song I would give value to all my struggles. I would feel the ache in my legs and the pain in my lungs knowing if I pushed through, what an accomplishment it would be. If climbing Mt. Everest were easy, where would the reward be? And just as I gave my physical struggles value, I also would take the time to appreciate my emotional struggle. The moment I took a risk an accepted my adversities was the moment I became stronger. So every time I listen to that song it I say, thank you trial for what you have taught me, and I continue to fight to move forward. I no longer cower to fear. I no longer take a victim stance feeling as though I am not good enough or I have been wronged by others. I fight for my freedom. My freedom to by myself and to do great things.
Here are some of the words to the song…
After all that you put me through,
You think I'd despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
'Cause you've made me that much stronger
[Chorus:]
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Obviously, those aren’t the only words to the song, but those are my favorites. I ended up running a mile on September 11, 2008. I still remember the excitement I had that day! I was then able to run the whole 3K that following summer at the 8/80 days run in Springport. My son Josh beat me by a mile, but it still felt great knowing I did it.
As far as my career goes I finished up my certification, and absolutely love teaching the parenting classes in Lansing and Jackson. It feels great to be passing on principals that have helped me so much.
Well, those are just some thoughts that were on my mind.
Monday, December 6, 2010
I am so directionally challenged
Yesterday, the older 3 kids and I went to the MSU women’s Basketball game. Kate is playing basketball this year and she was so excited for the chance to go. We planned on arriving 30 minutes early. Things were looking great; we were right on schedule until I accidentally passed the road that the Breslin Center was on. So I followed the curve to the right going onto the campus. I figured we would turn around there and let Kate see a little bit of the campus. Problem is once you go in; there is no getting out. Not for the directionally challenged like me anyway. The road I was driving down was named Circle Drive. And I found out exactly why that is its name. It goes in a circle with no end, so it seemed. Finally, I saw a busy road with lights ahead. I will take it, I thought. So there I was driving all over East Lansing trying to find Harrison again. Finally I found it and took a guess and turned left. As we kept driving I saw Grand River and thought I went too far, so I turned around only to end up at Lake Lansing Rd. At this point Kate pulled out the Garmin, and I called my Dad. Turns out that I was originally going the correct way on Harrison, and if I would have gone just another block or so further we would have been there. Oh well, we finally made it. I followed some orange signs that said, “Event Parking”, which lead me to a parking lot by the football stadium. It was a long cold walk from there, so it seemed, in the freezing cold air. I was already dreading the walk back and thought to myself, “Yeah, I prefer to have Michael drop me off at the door.” About half way there I realized I had left my cell phone in the van and there was no way I was going back. Finally, we were in the Breslin Center Just as the game was starting and Kate was in awe. All the kids seemed to enjoy the game.
When it was time to leave I couldn’t remember which door I came in, so I asked someone the best way to get to the parking by the football stadium. As we stepped outside I realized things looked a lot different in the dark. So I just followed the crowd. Eventually the crowd was splitting in two different directions and I had no idea which path to take. “Um, are you going to the “event parking” I said. But no one answered. “Hello, anyone, is anyone going to “event parking?” I said a little louder. An older gentleman heard me and pointed me toward the stadium. Off we went, things still not looking familiar. We kept walking and again I picked someone out of the crowd and asked, “Did you park in the “event parking”. The man gave me a puzzled look and he said, “We parked in the lot on the South side of the football stadium.” “Oh good, I did too.” I responded. Really I had no idea about the direction, I just knew I was by the stadium but how many lots by the stadium could there be. We reached the lot and it still didn’t look familiar. I pulled out the keys and started pushing the lock button hoping to hear a horn or see some flashing lights, but nothing. At this time I am beginning to realize that there were probably quite a few orange signs, leading to quite a few different “event” parking lots. We came to the end of the lot and the crowd was disappearing toward their cars. So the kids and I turned around. We were all freezing by this point and had absolutely no idea where the van was and no phone on me. I was getting really nervous inside just trying not to cry. Partially because I didn’t want to upset the kids and partially because if I did cry my tears would turn into ice and freeze my face. I kept wishing I had my cell phone to call Michael, but it wasn’t like he could tell me where I parked either. What I really needed was a homing device on me, so I could call Onstar and ask them where my car was in relation to me. And this would actually be a great investment for me, I am sure I would use it again and again. The longer we were walking the more I kept imagining myself back at the Breslin Center, crying to some worker about how I couldn’t find my car. Seriously, what is wrong with me? How many people spend 30 minutes in the freezing cold wondering the parking lots of the MSU campus looking for a gray Dodge mini-van. As if there aren’t a million of them. On our way back I ran into two guys that looked the “college” age. I asked them if they attended MSU. When they answered yes I said, “Oh good, cause I am soooooooo lost. I parked in the “event parking” by the football stadium.” I said pointing to the stadium we were standing next to. “But this isn’t the right lot. Is there another lot on the other side, perhaps? When we were walking in we went up a hill and through some pretty trees.” I said. Ya see, I was paying attention to land marks on the way in because I am very much aware of my directional inabilities. Problem was I walked out a different door of the Breslin Center than when I went in. The boys sent me all the way around the other side of the stadium. We were now freezing as we began running down the sidewalk between two buildings with the wind racing through biting out faces. Finally at the other end of the stadium there was another parking lot. Only we were entering it from another side then the one we left, so once again I didn’t know which way to go. I just hoped this was at least the right one. I looked out over the massive parking lot and recognized the gate I drove through to get in. I then knew which direction to head. So once again I pulled out my keys and started hitting the lock button. The further down we went the more things began to look familiar until in the distance I could see flashing lights. “Yeah!” I said to the kids, “We made it!!!” Then they began jumping and running with me, all of us saying very ecstatically, “we made it, we made it, we made it.” Fortunately I found my way out easier than my way in.
When it was time to leave I couldn’t remember which door I came in, so I asked someone the best way to get to the parking by the football stadium. As we stepped outside I realized things looked a lot different in the dark. So I just followed the crowd. Eventually the crowd was splitting in two different directions and I had no idea which path to take. “Um, are you going to the “event parking” I said. But no one answered. “Hello, anyone, is anyone going to “event parking?” I said a little louder. An older gentleman heard me and pointed me toward the stadium. Off we went, things still not looking familiar. We kept walking and again I picked someone out of the crowd and asked, “Did you park in the “event parking”. The man gave me a puzzled look and he said, “We parked in the lot on the South side of the football stadium.” “Oh good, I did too.” I responded. Really I had no idea about the direction, I just knew I was by the stadium but how many lots by the stadium could there be. We reached the lot and it still didn’t look familiar. I pulled out the keys and started pushing the lock button hoping to hear a horn or see some flashing lights, but nothing. At this time I am beginning to realize that there were probably quite a few orange signs, leading to quite a few different “event” parking lots. We came to the end of the lot and the crowd was disappearing toward their cars. So the kids and I turned around. We were all freezing by this point and had absolutely no idea where the van was and no phone on me. I was getting really nervous inside just trying not to cry. Partially because I didn’t want to upset the kids and partially because if I did cry my tears would turn into ice and freeze my face. I kept wishing I had my cell phone to call Michael, but it wasn’t like he could tell me where I parked either. What I really needed was a homing device on me, so I could call Onstar and ask them where my car was in relation to me. And this would actually be a great investment for me, I am sure I would use it again and again. The longer we were walking the more I kept imagining myself back at the Breslin Center, crying to some worker about how I couldn’t find my car. Seriously, what is wrong with me? How many people spend 30 minutes in the freezing cold wondering the parking lots of the MSU campus looking for a gray Dodge mini-van. As if there aren’t a million of them. On our way back I ran into two guys that looked the “college” age. I asked them if they attended MSU. When they answered yes I said, “Oh good, cause I am soooooooo lost. I parked in the “event parking” by the football stadium.” I said pointing to the stadium we were standing next to. “But this isn’t the right lot. Is there another lot on the other side, perhaps? When we were walking in we went up a hill and through some pretty trees.” I said. Ya see, I was paying attention to land marks on the way in because I am very much aware of my directional inabilities. Problem was I walked out a different door of the Breslin Center than when I went in. The boys sent me all the way around the other side of the stadium. We were now freezing as we began running down the sidewalk between two buildings with the wind racing through biting out faces. Finally at the other end of the stadium there was another parking lot. Only we were entering it from another side then the one we left, so once again I didn’t know which way to go. I just hoped this was at least the right one. I looked out over the massive parking lot and recognized the gate I drove through to get in. I then knew which direction to head. So once again I pulled out my keys and started hitting the lock button. The further down we went the more things began to look familiar until in the distance I could see flashing lights. “Yeah!” I said to the kids, “We made it!!!” Then they began jumping and running with me, all of us saying very ecstatically, “we made it, we made it, we made it.” Fortunately I found my way out easier than my way in.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
A story from Josh
My son, Josh wanted to post a story, so here is HIS version of Bo...
My Brother Bo
by Josh Lightner
“Okay Bo, time to pick up the game,” I said. Bo is my three year old brother who has dark brown hair, his head is shaped like a watermelon and comes to my waist but still tries to boss me around. Reputation? Let’s just say if he listens to you I’ll reward you one hundred dollars, little did I know that deal would be made soon.
Any way back to the story. Bo started screaming at the top of his lungs, “No, I want to play more!” Oh by the way Bo had a friend over named Travis (who I think won the politest person in the world award even though he’s three. Why couldn’t he be my brother?).
Travis started picking up the toys when Bo slapped them out of out of his hands. It’s hard to believe that they’re still friends. We picked up the toys ( Bo fighting tooth and nail the whole way ) and it was time for Travis to go home.
Then it was time for Bo to go to bed “Bo time for bed,” I shouted scrunching my eyes, waiting for the screaming tornado called my brother.
“Brace yourself,” I thought, “ It could happen any minute now… Where is it? Where’s the screaming, the crying?” I crept up the stairs turned the corner and…there was Bo.
“Joshie tuck me in!
My Brother Bo
by Josh Lightner
“Okay Bo, time to pick up the game,” I said. Bo is my three year old brother who has dark brown hair, his head is shaped like a watermelon and comes to my waist but still tries to boss me around. Reputation? Let’s just say if he listens to you I’ll reward you one hundred dollars, little did I know that deal would be made soon.
Any way back to the story. Bo started screaming at the top of his lungs, “No, I want to play more!” Oh by the way Bo had a friend over named Travis (who I think won the politest person in the world award even though he’s three. Why couldn’t he be my brother?).
Travis started picking up the toys when Bo slapped them out of out of his hands. It’s hard to believe that they’re still friends. We picked up the toys ( Bo fighting tooth and nail the whole way ) and it was time for Travis to go home.
Then it was time for Bo to go to bed “Bo time for bed,” I shouted scrunching my eyes, waiting for the screaming tornado called my brother.
“Brace yourself,” I thought, “ It could happen any minute now… Where is it? Where’s the screaming, the crying?” I crept up the stairs turned the corner and…there was Bo.
“Joshie tuck me in!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
JamieLightner.com
Why have a Life Coach?
Do you ever have those days when you wish you could find your parenting time card to punch out and just go home? I guarantee you are not the only one. I invite you to take a night out, enjoy some "parents anonymous" conversation, and bring home some tools to help you with that 168 hour week.
The purpose of retaining a life coach is to help you progress in what you are trying to create for yourself. It is important that you have a coach that will lead you in a positive direction and help you continue to move forward. Almost everyone has someone in life that they trust to give them advice, that person can be their parents, friends, or teachers, and it is up to the individual to make sure their mentor is not leading them into a place they shouldn’t be. A Life Coach helps you hold yourself accountable, review what you are learning, set boundaries and create time lines to ensure your success. With your life coach, you will learn how to integrate a purpose into your life, better understand the process of communication, and also understand the different roles you play in your life. Learning these skills and applying them to your life is an essential element of personal success and development. Your life coach will help you keep your life simple, so you can focus on reaching your goals.
Why take a parenting class?
Do you ever have those days when you wish you could find your parenting time card to punch out and just go home? I guarantee you are not the only one. I invite you to take a night out, enjoy some "parents anonymous" conversation, and bring home some tools to help you with that 168 hour week.
Check out www.JamieLightner.com
Do you ever have those days when you wish you could find your parenting time card to punch out and just go home? I guarantee you are not the only one. I invite you to take a night out, enjoy some "parents anonymous" conversation, and bring home some tools to help you with that 168 hour week.
The purpose of retaining a life coach is to help you progress in what you are trying to create for yourself. It is important that you have a coach that will lead you in a positive direction and help you continue to move forward. Almost everyone has someone in life that they trust to give them advice, that person can be their parents, friends, or teachers, and it is up to the individual to make sure their mentor is not leading them into a place they shouldn’t be. A Life Coach helps you hold yourself accountable, review what you are learning, set boundaries and create time lines to ensure your success. With your life coach, you will learn how to integrate a purpose into your life, better understand the process of communication, and also understand the different roles you play in your life. Learning these skills and applying them to your life is an essential element of personal success and development. Your life coach will help you keep your life simple, so you can focus on reaching your goals.
Why take a parenting class?
Do you ever have those days when you wish you could find your parenting time card to punch out and just go home? I guarantee you are not the only one. I invite you to take a night out, enjoy some "parents anonymous" conversation, and bring home some tools to help you with that 168 hour week.
Check out www.JamieLightner.com
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Tree
The kids and I had our annual “decorate the tree” with mom night. I know this may sound kinda strange, but Michael has never really liked the whole “decorate for Christmas” charade. So seeing that Michael is already the coolest cause Dad’s often are, well, I figured I could be the cool one they decorate the tree with. We do so many other things as a family so I really do cherish this special activity with the kids. We put the Christmas music on and got to work. I just loved watching all four of the kids actually work together with no fighting it was magical. However, we did have a few hang-ups. About half way up the tree we realized we were putting the branches in the wrong spots. The tree is color coded to tell us which branches go on which level but over the years the color dots have faded and a few have fallen off. So my knight in shining armor, who hates putting up the tree, came in to save the day. He helped us get all the branches on and then went back to his computer game. Josh and I then began wrapping the tree with lights only to get delayed half way down the nine-foot tree when I realized somewhere we plugged a set in backwards. If we didn’t find out where, and change it, I wasn’t going to have any prongs at the end to plug the lights into the wall. So once again Michael came back in to help Josh and I figure it out. But the good news is when we got the lights on the tree they ALL still worked. Last year I plugged the lights in to test them before putting them on the tree and they worked, but by the time I got them on the tree the set in the middle, no doubt, did not work. Anyway, we got the tree done and then shut all the light off in the house. Even Michael sat there on the couch with us for the grand lighting of the tree. I think he likes that part. Lol
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