Saturday, June 18, 2011

Go North. Is that left or right?

Oh my gosh, I am so directionally challenged it is ridiculous. I was driving out to Dewitt today for a wedding shower, going to a house I have been to on NUMEROUS occasions mind you. It is actually a standing joke how every time I have to drive myself out there I get lost. But today I was sure I had it all together and could make it on my own. My mom was riding with me but she had never been there, poor girl, she didn’t know what she had gotten herself into. I called my aunts husband asking him to let her know that I would be late. I informed him I was not lost, I had to speak at a meeting earlier and was running a bit behind. But I wasn’t lost and I knew how to get there. Well for those of you have read some of my other posts are familiar with my lack of directional ability. In fact I am so bad that I had to “pre-warn” my in-laws on a trip we took a few years ago. We were going to Gatlinburg and I had already been there so I knew they might think I would be a good source of information, which I was, unless the question began with the word “WHERE”. But about an hour before we arrived I said this…”I just want you guys to know you do NOT want to ask me for directions. When we get to the town it will look familiar to me, and I will think I know where I am going because I have been there. I will want to be helpful and give you directions, but don’t believe a word I say.” And that very trip they leaned not to trust my directions. But anyway, back to my latest excursion. On my way to Dewitt, driving down 127, um, North I believe. We came to the other highway I am supposed to take and in a panic I asked my mom, “which way do we go?” Of course she didn’t know, she barely new where I was taking her. So I called home and Josh answered. I told him to take his Dad the phone, cause I needed to talk to him ASAP. His reply was “Well, I am on speaker phone.” I then said, “well, go get a phone and take it to your dad.” So I am waiting on the phone and I just here kids talking. Finally I said, “Josh, are you taking a phone to your dad?” No, it is dead so I am charging it for you.” In my head I am thinking, “what is this highly intelligent child thinking! Really, does he think I want to sit here and wait until the phone charges.” I informed him that I could not wait for him to charge the phone. I told him to go get his dad off the tractor and have him call me. Meanwhile, my mom called my aunts husband and we got the directions from them. As we got off the highway I went turn left and my mom informed me we needed to go right. “Wow, really, is that what he said, cause my inner map is telling me to go left.” I said. Yeah, my internal map is backwards A LOT. But I followed the directions my mom was now reading to me. We were coming into town from a different way and I looked at my mom and said, “This doesn’t feel right to me.” And my moms response was, “oh good, I will take that as a sign we are going the right way.” Yeah, I guess it is safe to say being a tour guide is probably not ever going to be in the cards for me. We finally made it to the shower an hour late and the rest of the day went pretty smooth, until I pulled into my driveway that evening and as I opened my door and the dome light came on I found my phone sitting in my melted Ben and Jerry’s that I had bought on my way home and only eaten half the pint. As I carried my ice cream covered phone into the house my husband just shook his head very affectionately at me. Josh made the comment, “Well, mom, your phone has been through worse.” I answered, “Nope, I don’t think so.” And he came back with, “remember that time you dropped it in the toilet.” Ok, once again the kid was right. So today was an adventure, I hope you all are enjoying your summer as much as I am!!!! Always an adventure, but at least I can say life is not boring.

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