Thursday, April 26, 2012

Really, how many times can I get lost in Lansing

Ok so I got lost yet AGAIN!!! I know this comes as no shocker to most of you but if you want to here the story, here it is…. A couple of weeks ago I was heading into the doctor to hopefully figure out why I created such a seen in Sams, which inspired the blog my sister wrote titled, “Mom, down, we have a mom down.” It seemed my problem coincided with “that time of the month”, so I decided to go see the doctors who delivered my babies. I had been having issues since the birth of my last kid so I figured this was the place to start. The only problem is I hadn’t been back to this office in 5 years so I couldn’t remember exactly the best way to get there. You would think that having 4 kids I would have spent enough time there to permanently etch a map in my mind, but nope. I’m gonna go with the story that the pregnancy hormones affect your ability to retain memories formed during that time period. Not the fact that I am directionally challenged. Anyway I was on my way and I called my mom for directions. She wasn’t sure what the most direct route was and gave me all kinds of options and I wasn’t exactly sure of what she was talking about so I decided to call Michael. He told me to take 127 to Michigan Ave and go left. My doctor’s office is in the professional building across the street from the hospital. After I hung up with him I realized I didn’t have my wallet. I thought I left in on my dresser but wasn’t sure. So I called my mom to ask her to check while I headed that way. I really didn’t have time to turn around and I still wasn’t even sure it was there. A couple minutes later she called to tell me it wasn’t there. I pulled over and looked more thoroughly on the floor, I found it wrapped in my coat!! I had grabbed it, I just didn’t remember. Ugh! I turned back around and was on my way. As I made my way up 127 I saw the exit signs for 496 and recognized what my mom was talking about. I thought to myself, “Hey, that was the highway my mom had mentioned. Ya know, now that I think about it I think that way would be faster!” So despite my conscience telling me not to detour from my route, off to the other highway I went. As I got onto 496 I realized I had quit talking to my mom before I found out what exit to take. “Ok, Jamie.” I thought. “You can do this.” I also remember my mom saying something about taking M-99 all the way in, so that was probably the exit I needed. “Yeah, that’s it I assured myself.” I am sure you are wondering why I didn’t just make a phone call. Well, to be totally honest I did not want to call Michael and tell him I detoured from the plan, because seriously I should know better. I would rather call him later and tell him I detoured from the plan and tell him of how successful I was at navigating myself. Ha! You can probably guess that didn’t happen. Furthermore I didn’t want to call my mom and tell her the same thing either. Everyone is quite aware of my directional handicap and I just couldn’t bring myself to admit what I had done. Besides, how hard could it be. Well, as I grew more confident in my decision I noticed an ambulance to my left getting off on the Pennsylvania exit. Considering that my doctor is right across from the hospital, “Hmmmm.” I thought. “That is not a good sign.” I would have followed the ambulance, but by the time I saw it there was a median between us and all I could do was watch it disappear. “That’s ok.” I reassured myself. “I am sure there are lots of ways to get there, I am just going to come in from the other side.” So I kept on going and got off at MLK. I passed over Kalamazoo and began to feel so proud, because Michigan Ave should be next. But nope, Michigan Ave doesn’t not exist anymore by the time you are on MLK. I can’t give you step by step what happened next, it extremely confusing, all I know is I did a lot of turning around looking for where Michagan Ave disappeared too, and I HATE one way roads!!!! Seriously, what is the purpose other than make navigating more confusing!!!!! For someone like me, who spends a lot time turning around, one way roads just mess me up even more! So there I was zig zagging all over down town Lansing searching for Michigan Ave. Finally, I was due to be at the doctor in 3 minutes and I had no choice but to call and let them know I was lost. Here is the conversation….. Me: “hi, I am lost. I am close but have no idea how to get there.” Receptionist: “what road are you on.” Me: “ just a sec let me come to a sign.” Receptionist: Do you see the capital.” Me: “No” Receptionists: “Don’t worry you are just a couple minutes way, I will get you here as soon as I figure out where you are” Me: “OK, I just crossed over Kalamazoo for the 4th time. Receptionist: Ok go back to Kalamazoo and go East. At this point I am thinking, “Is East left or right.” I looked for the sun I couldn’t see it. At this point I am missing the compass I had in my old van. I tried to describe to here where I was and she said I should go left on Kalamazoo. I did and as I described to her what I was seeing. Receptionist: “Nope the park should be on your right, you need to turn around and go the other way” I then made 3 left hand turns to end up back at Kalamazoo once again. She then ask me what road I was on and I told her,(I don’t remember the name anymore) Receptionist: Ok, if you are on that road you need to go Left on Kalamazoo. Not realizing she thought I was going the south on this road when I was actually going North. I turned left once again, and the park was on the wrong side of the road yet again. Finally, I see what is happening and I somehow get myself on Kalamazoo going the correct direction. I then described what I was seeing and she got me to Michigan Ave. When I checked in the receptionist couldn’t help but giggle when she heard my name, and then apologized to me for doing so. I assured her I wasn’t offended and that I certainly didn’t want to admit to her how often this happens to me. Sad thing is I actually have a Garmin, but I had accidentally taken the power cord into the house recently and the battery was dead. I would like to say I leaned my lesson and I will never detour from Mike’s directions again, but I think we all know that isn’t true. So, I guess I will just have more blog material when this inevitably happens again.

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