Do you speak faucet?

Some of you may recall my escapade in Lowes a couple years back, it was the blog titled, “It’s a boy, it’s a girl, no it’s a faucet fitting.(I posted again for reference)” Well, apparently I didn’t learn enough that day to keep me from embarrassing myself “Mrs. Fix it land.” Well, as you know my man has been putting in his time at the office these days, leaving me to do what I like to call, “man work.” Not that a woman can’t do it, but this woman sure isn’t used to doing it. Although now that I have hung my own drywall and shelves(tomorrows post) maybe it’s time to dabble in the plumbing world. I am sure the guy I talked to today from Delta faucet is hoping I don’t go anywhere near the plumbing world. Ok, enough rambling and on with the story… We had a leaky faucet, so I told Mike to take it off the shower and I would take it to Lowes so someone there could just look at it and tell me where to find another. Well, good news is, it is under a lifetime warranty, yeah!!!! Bad news is I gotta call Delta faucet and speak “plumber.” I called today and a man with a very deep voice answered. After I said…Hi, um my faucet broke, and Lowes said I could call you” I think he knew he had his work cut out for him. The conversation went like this… Deep voice guy: ok what kind is it. Me: Hmmm, not sure, is there a # on it Deep voice guy: no it would be on the box or your paperwork Me: Ha ha, yeah, that stuff is long gone Deep voice guy: Well, what is the problem with it. Me: It’s leaking, it has a crack in one of the pipe things. I’m not sure what its called but it has srewey thingy that you attach to the pipe, I think, I can see screw ridges to attach something to. Deep voice guy: ok so the valve is cracked Me: ugh, valve, what is a valve. Deep voice guy: the valve is where the hot and cold water, blah blah blah, sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher was talking. Me: oh yeah, I think it is the valve cause there are 3 holes with screwey thing coming out of it, probably for the hot and cold water, and an extra for something else. Deep voice guy: ok, we need to figure out if you have a new or old model. I need you to pull the valve out and look at the top of it. So I am trying to pull the heavy peace out of the metal thing it was inside, when the handle thing fell off. Me: Oh the flipper handle thing fell off does that get me to where I need to go. Deep voice guy: yes, tell me what color the plastic on underneath is. Come to find out I have the newer model and they are sending the replacement part. Hopefully, I actually described well enough what was broken so they send me the right one. I was sure to thank the guy with a deep intimidating voice for his patience. I am sure he thought I was blowing big fat bubbles with my bubble yum while I twisted my hair. I really gotta get my lingo down before I just walk myself into these situations.