My sis the life coach?????

Yeah, so I was struggling today. I was just emotional and having a tough time pulling myself together. I haven’t been exercising lately and that does help a lot when it comes to clearing unnecessary stresses out of my head. But today I just wanted to go back to bed. Problem is I already went back to bed and it was now noon, and I really needed to get up. So I did what any well-trained life coach would do when needing to deal with some emotions. I called my sis and said, let’s leave the kids with boys and go get coffee! As we sat there in those chairs by a fire place listing to the clanking of spoons, the milk steamer make that weird sound it makes that should be annoying, yet I find it fun, and the blender mixing another yummy drink for someone else, I just started babbling to her about the thoughts in my brain. My thoughts of uncertainty about my marketing abilities basically. I was getting ready for an expo, and getting ready to put another parenting class together and now that I am 1 week away I started obsessing over the tasks I should have done but didn’t think to do. Talking about what a terrible marketer I am. I love being a life coach, but as for the marketing side, yeah, not really my gig. Look there I go complaining again. Anyway, I gave my sister my sob story and she so sweetly looked at me and said, ok do you just want to vent or did you want some ideas.” That’s the way my sis and I work. We know sometimes we just need to blow off some steam and then we realize it’s not worth stressing over and we move on, and sometimes we just frankly want to vent and just marinate in our misery cause we just don’t feel like moving forward for a sec, and then other times we are open for answers from others. But we are willing to be whatever the other needs us to be in the moment. So today when she asked me if I wanted help, I said yes. And then her sweet expression vanished into thin air, and this is what she said…..”Jamie, what is wrong with you? Did you hear anything I said last week? What is wrong with you? This is not what you are supposed to be doing. You are not supposed to be sitting here talking about all the things you are not good at. You know you are a good life coach so start believing you have exactly the marketing abilities you need to get you where you want to go. I told you last week that we needed to start going after what we want in life and believe positively about each step we take, and you are not listening. Was I speaking English when I said this to you or was I suddenly bilingual and accidentally slipped into another language and left you dazed and confused. Seriously, how many times do I have to say this to you.” As I stared at here laughing at her “gentle” approach, I had to agree with her. It’s like that famous saying by Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, YOU ARE RIGHT! So what are you thinking?

Attention all writers

Attention all writers. I have an offer for all you moms who like to dabble with the writing. I have decided to feature, here and there, stories of moms like me. One of the reasons I started this blog was to let other moms know that we are more alike than we often think. And the mom’s from the TV shows in the 50’s, well let’s face it, if we had someone to do our hair and make up, then maybe we would cook and bathe the kids every night too.

So I thought I would give other mom’s an opportunity to share their ebay moments, or sleepless nights, or those times you want to pretend the kids standing next to you in the grocery store aren’t really yours. Now I know what you may be thinking, “Jamie, you are just having a hard time keeping up with writing everyday and now you are trying to pawn off your job.” Well, you are exactly right! But hey, it will put some new stories from different personalities out there to. But I figure it will be fun hearing some other stories too!!! And give me a chance to prove I am not the only crazy one. lol

So, if you have a story please email it to me jamielightner@yahoo.com. As long as I feel it is a good fit for this particular blog, I will post it! So happy writing. I look forward to hearing from you!

A story from my Sis

All in the day of a Mom


I am so proud of my little man!! He is going to be 3 in September and he wore his big boy undies today for the morning and kept them dry the whole time :) My morning started out pretty good. A friend of mine stopped by with some grass fed beef that I can't wait to taste. We had coffee and caught up on life. I made Ayden breakfast, cooked my dessert to take to my meeting tonight, got both my boys dressed and even fed my porky one all by 11. My floors were swept, I vacuumed my stairs (Which Im not even going to say how long its been) toilets clean, started the shopping list for this weekend and did bills. Wow!!! I was Wonder Woman! Well then Zayne decided he wanted to get cranky about an hour before he was supposed to go back to sleep. I try to keep him awake after his morning nap til 1:30 so I can lay both my boys down. Even Wonder Woman needs quiet time :) So I tell myself were gonna hold him off. I have been doing great all morning, and hour should be a piece of cake. Hah! I throw some onions in a pan to cook up for some stir fry for lunch, start making Zayne a bottle and try and mix up some banana bread in the process. Zayne is literally on my legs so I can't get from one end of the kitchen to the next. I burnt the onions while running upstairs to get Ayden a pair of pants because it's “too cold” to ride his gator. I just want to look at him and let him know it's still summer. Try to save the onions which now look like black and brown worms, but I decide to keep them anyway. Throw in some peas and corn, little brown rice, pink salmon and some tamari sauce and all is good. Give Ayden a bowl and begin cleaning my kitchen up while putting whiny butt in his high chair for some peas. A few minuets later Ayden comes to me with a disgusted look on his face and tells me he doesn't like it. I go over to the stove and taste my stir fry. YUCK!!!! Yup burnt onions don't hide well. We scratch lunch and have Popsicles instead. We head upstairs for some toy room time. Going up the stairs with porky I tell myself there is my workout for the day when I notice Ayden reaching for his buns. “Do you have to go poop? Tell me so you don't go in your underwear” “Um...nope...” We get to the top of the stairs and he suddenly looks up at me and says “Yup....I do”. We run into my bathroom, rip his skibby's down and plop him on the pot. Sure enough to little logs came out and we rejoiced. However in the middle of our potty party I realized porkums was gone. I run out to the hall remembering I didn't shut the gate and get there just in time to grab him from tumbling down the stairs. GEEZ!!!! I bring him back into the bathroom to find my son had gotten off the toilet himself and was so proud. I was doing the fake “yeah” face because all I could see were the brown streak marks on my seat and was hoping no dingle berries feel off as he jumped around in excitement. I laid him on the floor to wipe him up and he started to ask me about baby Zayne.....BABY ZAYNE!!!! I jumped up from wiping Aydens bum, run into the bathroom, grab Zaynes hand just before he reached for the terd that was still floating in the water. The toilet is his fun place right now :( I shut the lid flushed the toilet and came out to see Ayden wiping his own butt. So proud he was. I just looked at him and decided to bleach his hands and in the tub they both go. Thank goodness nap time was minuets away!!! For all those men out there that think we sit at home watching Days of Our Lives, eating bon bons...try this one on for size. Because all of us women know the turnout of this story had a man been in charge and not Wonder Woman Mom :)

You might be a parent if...

Hey everyone,

My goal is to, at least once a month, post videos! Here is my first one!!!

The best dad in the world!

I was standing at my fridge getting a glass of water, listening to the kids laughing with their Dad in the other room when one by one, including Michael, they all went running by screaming and chasing each other. And then moments later that all ran back by, still screaming, shouting and laughing, till they all ended up in one big pile in the living room. Ya know, there are times I wish my husband would act more like a grown up and get the kids to bet on time, make sure they bathe enough and tell them to put their clothes in the dirty laundry when they take them off. I wouldn’t even mind if he put his own clothes in the hamper, it be like the cherry on top of an ice cream Sunday. But setting a few concerns aside I am glad I married and over sized kid. I love that more of my stuff has been broken by the balls my husband has thrown in the house. It keeps me young and makes me laugh. I love that he rolls in the floor with them. I love that he can take on all five of us in a wrestling match, kids and mom versus Dad. I love that he can remind me of what really matters. And sometimes what really matters is running through the house like hooligans. So as I throw his dirty socks in the hamper, I stay “Thanks for being the coolest Dad in the world.”

Can I get an "AMEN SISTA!"

I gotta say, after a long day, there is nothing like a comfy pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Between my regular job of motherhood and on top of that marketing to get the Value Based Parenting class into more schools, and on top of that working a TurningLeaf Seminar last week, it seems my hours are racking up. And then today I watched my sister’s kids for her. Now that my youngest is 4, I seem to struggle a bit going back to the “eating small objects and stale macaroni off the floor” stage. But just to make sure I have absolutely no chance of ever getting baby fever again, lol, I took Bo and my sister’s two kids to Meijer today. Bo and Ayden weren’t terrors, but they were very energetic and excited to be in Meijer together. The trip sounded a lot like this, “Bo and Ayden slow down! Get back here! Don’t climb on that! Ewww, gross, Ayden, don’t put your mouth on that.” They did have to take a few time outs hanging on to the cart. But for the most part they were just LOUD. I have no doubt that if my sister had walked into Meijer at that same time today, WITHOUT her cell phone, she would have been able to find me quite easily. And as for Zayne, her 1 year old, well he was pretty quiet. He just kept trying to eat my groceries the more they got to his reach. And then I made the mistake of putting my bananas, the last item to get, right in the seat next to him. It wasn’t until I unloaded my groceries onto the conveyer belt that I noticed he had bitten a chunk out of one of my bananas, skin and all. I had to stick my finger into his slobbery mouth and retrieve the skin so he wouldn’t choke. Gross! Thanks goodness that kid is so cute. Lol Then tonight our evening was filled with soccer in the rain, boy scouts, and other work I had to get done. So by the end of my day I was so ready for my sweats. I actually got excited going up the stairs as I anticipated my comfy sweats, a t-shirt, my bed, and my TV remote. Can I get an “AMEN SISTA!”

Oh to be a woman!

Well, this is my last post concerning my vacation. Our cruise was over. I said my goodbyes, with tears in my eyes. (As I said in my earlier post, I am such a sap) My family and I crossed the gangway, and were waiting in line for a taxi. As we waited there talking of our favorite parts of the trip, my stomach started cramping. Well, ya see, it was “that time of the month.” I am trying to be sensitive with my wording, just in case any guys are reading. Ya know how they are when you say the word “period.” Ooops, to late now. Anyway, my husband saw my pain and asked if I was ok. “Oh yeah, as soon as I can sit I will be fine.” I responded. Well, it came out of know where. Next thing I know I am lying across my son in the back seat moaning in pain. And then to make matters worse I got very nauseous. I was squeezing Michael’s hand and breathing as if I was having contractions. I just kept telling myself, “Seriously Jamie, you have birthed 4 children without an epidural, surely you can handle some menstrual cramps.” I kept debating in my head how much longer I had be for I vomited all over this poor cabby’s back seat. I wanted to just pull over but I didn’t want the meter to keep ticking. I can just see that when recording receipts. “Two dollars for Jamie to throw up on the side of the highway.” Those cab rides aren’t cheap. But I finally just couldn’t take it anymore. With tears streaming down my face I leaned up and whimpered to Michael. “you better get me outa here, I am going to barf all over the place.” Telling the cab driver of my predicament, we made our way to an off ramp. As soon as the car stopped Michael helped me out. And there I was bent over the weeds on the side of the highway somewhere in L.A, still trying not to throw up, cause I HATE throwing up. Now that I wasn’t being jostled around in the back of a “LA cab ride”(reference to my first day of vacation post) I was feeling a bit better. I got back in the cab, still breathing like a woman in labor. I felt pretty silly. It’s not like I had a great story like “hey we are having a baby” nope, it was “hey I am having my period” oh yeah, that is something you want to broadcast. We made it to the airport, and I walked in, found a spot by the wall and just lay down. Michael found me some Motrin in our suitcase and I took the maximum dosage. We were a sight. While Michael checked out bag the kids (Josh and Kate) just sat next to me, while I was lying there on the floor, still without a cool story. Fortunately no one asked what was wrong with me. Not exactly the story the kids want to take back to show and tell. After about 20 minutes my drugs kicked in and I was fine. I am glad it was short lived, but still a bit embarrassed. Oh well, at least I got a blog out of it. What else was I going to write about. Bo wasn’t with us. lol

Still playing tourist.

Our next port was in Puerto Vallarta. I wasn’t quite as panicked. Things had gone quite well the day before, and this time we were hangin with another family that were close friends of ours. So I definitely felt safer with our bigger group. Now I wasn’t just a dazed and confused looking “gringo”, we were a whole pack of dazed and confused “gringos.” Lol

Again we hopped off the boat hoping to scout out our own deals for the day, unaffiliated with the cruise. We were instructed to walk further away from the cruise and find a Taxi, rather than hopping in the first one off the boat. We walked for what seemed like a mile, but Michael said it wasn’t that far, we just kept shaking are heads “no” the whole way, to what seemed like 50 cab drivers, but was probably 15. Finally, we were away from the swarm and Michael negotiated with a local cab company. And off we went to a beach! Again! We just couldn’t get enough of the ocean, not to mention it was the least expensive activity on the menu. Lol Amazingly enough we found a van that all 9 of us could ride in. After about 30 minutes of driving to the outskirts, so it seemed, the thought of abduction crossed my mind once again. I thought to myself, “Yeah, this is the part in the movies when the music makes you feel on edge, and you are looking at the character, talking out loud to your TV saying, “why didn’t you just book with your cruise director, your life is worth the extra money.” And then we turned the last corner, and there we were, on the outskirts of a rain forest, on a beach in Mexico! We all piled out of the van and made our way to the beach where we were solicited by a local “resturantish” owner. If we ordered some snacks we could lounge under a big umbrella for our personal group only. We kept repeating ourselves to make sure both parties were on the same page, and then accepted the deal. And then we were bombarded by local sales people. They were selling things ranging from dresses and blankets to jewelry, tattoos and massages. Our waiter put up a sign on our umbrella that read, “No Vendors please.” And finally, relaxation was obtainable. That is until our friend talked to someone walking by selling jewlry, and boom, like flies on manure, the whole pile of peddlers were back! We said NO, and pointed to our sign 50 more times till the sales ceased once again. After that we were careful not to talk to anyone else again!

Overall it was quite the experience. The ocean was wonderful, and we seemed to experience an authentic part of Mexico. The whole restaurant was open air, no doors to walk through to get in, and a straw roof on top. The floors were cobblestone, as was the road that led us to our little hut. As I walked to the restroom I saw little open air rooms, with massage beds in them. It was quite primitive, yet still cute and quaint.

On our way back to the boat, we stopped in town to do some shopping at the flea market. Now there is an experience. Although, it was kinda like the American theme of always the “Best Sale Ever” that a store has 3 times a year. All we kept hearing was, “I make you a real good price. Best price for the pretty lady. Come Senorita, I make you the best price. Best price Just for YOU, Just for today!!! Nobody, give you a price like me.” If I had a nickel for every time I heard one of those lines I could have bought a lot more souvenirs for a “really special price.” Although I gotta say, my favorite line of the whole sales pitches was, “I have Mexican junk. You want the best Mexican junk for almost free?!”

It was quite an experience. As fun as it was, it was still a relief to get back on the boat. There ain’t nothing like the good ole US of A! I thank God for Blessing America! It is a blessed nation.

I just want to go to the beach!

The evening we left Long Beach it was cold and cloudy and I was looking forward to the hot sun of Mexico to shine on me. I use these vacations to stock up on the sun before I am sent back to the land of “clouds.” It is funny, my friends in Utah talk of the reservoirs of water, I have a reservoir of sunlight, and I like when I can get it filled! Thankfully, the hurricane in the area moved on through and the sun was out the very next day. Gotta love those lazy see days. It gives you time to relax before you enter a foreign country. I don’t know if the Mexican ports were more stressful than the Caribbean Ports I went to 8 years ago, or if I was just more stressed because I was wondering through a foreign county with my children. It felt as though our family was carrying around a sign that said “I am a tourist, come and sell me something for more than it is worth.” There definitely was no chance of blending. I felt like in the movies when the white guy sticks out like a sore thumb and is called a “gringo.” And to make matters even more confusing, we were trying to save money. So we didn’t book any excursions through the cruise. We just got off the boat and tried to find a water taxi to take us to the beach. We were bombarded by all kinds of natives with their little signs, telling us of their excursions. I felt quite overwhelmed with the situation. Our cruise director had told us the night before of how careful we needed to be. He told us to be specific when making a deal. Make sure if you agree on a $10 ride it includes everyone in your group, so they don’t tell you $10 a person when you get there, 3 miles down the road. So I was already paranoid about getting taken advantage of when my husband, all of a sudden, makes a deal with a guy who was now pushing me into a little boat. Choking back the tears of panic I was beginning to come unglued. Michael had cut a deal and paid for the round trip up front. So now I am thinking, who knows if they are taking us to the beach we want to go to, but now that they have our money, who is to say they aren’t just going to leave us there. As we rode and chatted with the captain of our little water taxi, I began to calm down. He did seem like a good guy, just tryin’ to make a living. Not some “gringo-napper”, so I didn’t think we were in danger. He dropped us off at the beach we were looking for and promised to pick us up at the same place 3 hours later. As we watched him float away Michael just looked at me and said, “Well, if he actually comes back we got a good deal. If not, we will have to spend a bit more to get a taxi home.” “Oh well, now.” I thought. Might as well enjoy the experience of the ocean in Cobo. I figure if it was going to be an expensive trip to the beach it may as well be a fun one. So we played in the ocean, and explored the beach. It was amazing. And wouldn’t ya know, our boat guy came back for us! If I am ever in Cobo again, I will know just who to look up. lol

What matters most- Vacation, vacation, vacation!

Well it seems for the past few years my family has been blessed with the ability to travel, and I am very grateful for the opportunities we have had. This past week we had the opportunity to go on a cruise to Mexico. A very dear friend of mine got married last weekend and invited a group of her friends and relatives to join them on their honeymoon cruise! Sounds funny I know, but what a blast. Ya, see not only is she my friend but she is a colleague of mine through TurningLeaf. As crazy as it my sound, the company I work with is more like a “family” than co-workers. So I was cruising with about 15 people I absolutely love. Mike and I also brought Josh and Kate. Now, normally we would not have invited our children, usually we would have used a big beautiful boat in the middle of the ocean as an escape from parenthood. But another colleague of mine was bringing his and they were the same age as mine. And the funny thing about your kids getting older, is they are more fun to hang with, rather than just little energizer bunnies you have to chase. The kids were great on the cruise. When they weren’t hangin with there new found friends, they were off to their own, “no parents allowed” club. In fact when my daughter was in the front row at a comedy show, the comedian asked her if she had to go to her club so the parents could get a break from the kids, and her response was, “no we go there so us kids can get a break from the parents.” Not quite what the comedian expected, but it did help him get a few extra laughs.

So not to bore you, I will divide the trip up into a couple blogs, and give you the details I thought to be interesting. Starting out with the wedding in long beach, the night before we embarked on our voyage. The wedding was actually beautiful and perfect. I even cried. I am such a sap these days. It seems the older I get the sappier I get. I cry when babies are born, when people get married, and apparently I also cry when I have to leave my friends after a week long cruise, but that is a later story. Anyway, as I was saying the wedding was great it was the cab rides that were dramatic. “Get me to the church on time.” Well, he did, only it wasn’t a church it was a beach. Oh my gosh, cab drivers in Long Beach will make you a praying person. I am a praying person anyway, God and I chat everyday, but I think I talked to him the whole 10 minute ride to and from the wedding. Oh my gosh. Climb in the cab and off we go whipping out onto the street. It was like the driver thought I was having a baby and he was rushing us to the hospital. And there were some moments when we were shifting in and out of lanes I thought the next stop just might be the hospital. It was at this point in time I let any fear of my boat sinking or getting captured by pirates go, and figured if I survived the cab rides, the boat would probably be the least of my worries. Besides our room was on floor 12, so it would be one of the last to sink. Only problem was I had misunderstood. My room number was 1268. Deck 12, room 68, right?! As we were walking down the gang way we were counting up the Decks. Whoa. Deck 12 looked as though it had big windows on the whole wall of the cabin. Oh I could hardly wait to open my widow and feel the fresh air through my room. But nope, the room was actually number 268. Yup, so you know what that means. My Deck would be the FIRST to go under. As we stepped into the cabin and saw our box of a window, which of course did not open, my claustrophobia kicked into high gear. However, when I quite thinking of the Titanic I began to enjoy looking at the ocean out of my little box. After all I did survive the cab ride, right!

Well, I feel as though I am getting long winded. Tune in tomorrow and I will talk about Mexico. I definitely felt like a “gringo.”