Laugh like a kid!

What is it about watching kids laugh and play that is so rejuvenating? I took my kids to the splash pad today, and as I watched them giggle and chase each other through the 20 different devices shooting water in all different directions I just felt my heart lighten. The past few days have been filled with some of life’s many “adventures.” Two days ago my air conditioning quit working in my, again. Mind you, this is after we just spent bucket load to FIX it. Then that same day, at the beach with my mom, someone stole her purse out of my van. They must have opened my side door, which we just discovered the lock is sticking on it. Some times it sticks locked, sometimes it sticks unlocked. Yet another thing that needs to be fixed on my van. And today I went to Belle Tire, AGAIN, to get my NEW tires FIXED, AGAIN. Fortunately it was a factory error, so no money out of my pocket, just time out of my day. But after Belle Tire, the kids and I headed up the road to a near by splash pad for some fun. As I sat their in the warm beautiful sun watching them, all my worries and frustrations just didn’t seem to be worth thinking about. It was as if I absorbed their carefree attitude and the magic in their laughter melted my cares away.

During our time there I notice this guy, who looked like the Grandfather of the little boy following him around. This guy, except for the gray hair in his beard and hair, looked just like one of the kids. He wasn’t just following the kid around. He was standing enthusiastically under dumping buckets, diving through waterfalls, and even had a shoot out with water cannons with one of MY kids. Hillarious.

Soon the kids fun was so contagious I had to join! I didn’t look nearly as kid-like as the “Grandpa” but it was fun running through the tunnels and letting Bo shoot me with the water cannon. I even stood under the dumping bucket, per Josh’s orders. Lol It is amazing what we can learn from our kids!

Don't eat and drive...a cart.

I had a softball tournament tonight, that was fun, but by the time I headed home I was starving! I had to stop at Meijer for some cereal and a couple of other things and I really didn’t want to, I was tired and hungry. But I decided a subway sandwich sounded good and there was a subway right in front of Meijer. So I got my sub and parked in the Meijer parking lot. I thought I would eat in the van and then shop, but then that would delay my arrival time to my pillow and bed tonight. So I pulled out my 6 in. and decided to shop and eat at the same time. Without my napkin no less. There I was pushing my cart with one hand and holding my sandwich with the other. I did my best not to make a mess, but anyone who knows me personally will know that Jamie and food always means a mess. In fact when I was pregnant Michael would call my round belly his carpet saver, cause by the end of the day he could see how much would have actually ended up on the floor. So there I was with honey mustard down my shirt and a banana pepper sitting on the cart handle. “Whatever” I thought, I don’t know any of these people in here staring at me personally. Ooops, spoke to soon, I ran into a guy who Michael went to college with. And those of you who, again, who know me personally, know I can’t help but strike up a conversation. So wiping the honey mustard off my chin I said, “Hey, did you go to Spring Arbor.” “Yeah” he said with a puzzled look. “I am Mike Lightners wife.” I said
“Oh yeah I remember Mike.” He said. As we exchanged goodbyes I darted to the other side of the store hoping not to run into him again. I just had to laugh. A wife would like to think of herself as arm candy for her man, or ya know, someone they like to show off. And there I was stuffing my face in the middle of Meijers. Michael will be so proud. Lol

A damsel in distress...again.

I had it all together. Josh had soccer practice tonight and then we were off to the lake to try and soak up the remaining days of summer. I prep-made meat and cheese burritos so the kids could eat dinner while the boys got the boat ready, that way we could have optimal time on the water. I was so together it was almost scary. I even managed to get Josh to soccer only 2 minutes late. I took the rest of the kids to the playground to play during Josh’s practice, AND I cleaned out my van AND made my dinner menu for the week while the kids played. Seriously, I don’t think Martha Stewart or Wonder Woman could say so much. At precisely 6:27 I rolled in to pick up Josh and off to the lake we went!! About five minutes down the road my van made an all to familiar sound. I pulled to the side of the road and sure enough my tire was completely flat. Good news is I knew exactly what to do in case of a flat tire. I whipped out my cell phone and dialed 1-800-MY MAN. Yup, that is what I was taught to do. I don’t think I could change a tire if I had a million dollars riding on my success. I’m just not that kinda girl. It’s like when I go get my oil changed and the speedy place, and when they are finished they bring me the dip stick and say, “How’s that look ma’am.” I look at the dip stick and think to myself. “Uh, I don’t know, it looks like something dirty and greasy if you ask me. If you would have shown me a newly set of painted toe nails I could give my opinion, or I could identify how much milk to put in the pancake batter by sight rather than measurement, but OIL, I have know idea! But of course when the kid brought the stick to my window I carefully inspected it, and said, “Yup, good job boys.” Anyway, back to the real story. (Whew, as much as I talk I coulda filled that tire up my tires myself.) So I called Michael, and he was on his way.

He brought the air compressor so he could possibly fill it up and just get it home, seeing we were just five minutes away. When he arrived he realized he grabbed the wrong tool to attach to the air compressor. So back to the house he went. Finally, he was back with the right tool. He filled the tire up and we made it a ¼ of a mile further down the road. Hmmmm. This could take awhile!

He pulled off and started working to get the spare tire down. I took the truck to go get some bug spray for him. The spare tire was not coming down. Finally, after forty minutes of working on it he just cut the cable that was holding it in place. We figured a spare tire stuck to the bottom of my van wasn’t gonna help me ever anyway. Finally, covered in dirt, sweat and bug bites he drove my van home with the spare tire, and I followed in his truck. Poor guy, I felt bad for him. There are so many times I whine about being the wife and all the work I have to do, but thank God I am not the husband. He is my knight in shining armor, rescuing his damsel in distress… AGAIN.

I AM SMOKIN!!!!

Hello all!! It's me Jessica! Today was eventful. Well not really...it was just a regular day but it felt eventful. I didn't even leave the house. Ever had those days where you head is so full of things that have to be done around the house, your grocery list, people you want to send notes too, gifts to mail, a workout to get in on top of all of your regular daily activities that you do with 2 kids. Woke up this morning feeling great. My kids still sleeping, house clean and picked up, coffee in hand. It was beautiful outside so I go and sit on the porch. Begin reading an insightful book hoping to get a few morsels for the day. As I start reading my mind trails off to my to-do list and things I need to pick up at the store. I scold myself and begin reading again. Then I start thinking of the letters I need to write and the gifts I need to get in the mail. Oh and my car is a mess, yup and gotta clean out that stale bottle I threw in the garage in a hurry which now probably looks like a science project and I don't even want to guess what it smells like....oh right...reading. I think I read the same paragraph about 4 times before I just decided to sit and think. Let me tell ya, if you don't put a time limit or boundaries on your thoughts you could sit there all day and spiral yourself into a hole. I'm just gonna let you in on my thought process because I know you can all relate. I should really clean my baseboards, ugh and my bathroom floors need to be swept and mopped...gosh what a rotten housekeeper I am, I hate it that I yelled at Ayden today. I need to be more patient with my kids. They will grow up thinking it's ok to yell. Why am I a mom? I'm not cut out for this. I'm too selfish. I don't even want to think about how ridiculous I've been to my husband. Why does he love me still. I'm so mean and he's so great. And how does he still think I'm hot. Have you looked at yourself lately Jess? I mean really have you ever been fatter in your life. Your family could survive for a week off your love handles alone.

Yea...that was my thought process this morning. Great way to start off the day huh? Writing this and seeing everything on paper makes me realize even more how I need to put a boundary on those thoughts and when I start to wander down that path I need to change everything. That's why they say Yoga is the best workout for your body. Because the types of positions have your body working muscles on one plane and then switch to the opposite plane with different muscles. So I encourage you that when you start to down yourself change up everything from that moment. Go blow up water balloons with your kids, put some music on and fly like butterflies around the house, or visit the rainforest and jump like frogs, then visit the safari and crawl like lions. Anything to change your thought process at that moment. And then when you are out of it for a little bit replace all those thoughts with thoughts of joy and gratitude. I'm thankful I can have kids, and they are healthy and they love me. I'm thankful I make mistakes so my kids are gonna know its ok for them to make mistakes. I'm thankful I don't have to be the perfect wife, my quirks are why my husband married me in the first place. And try this one on....Of course my husband thinks i'm hot...because I am...I am SMOKIN!!!! I usually then go put on a thong or something sexy for a little bit. (can never stay in those things too long or I just get frustrated ;) ) Anything to jump start you down a positive thinking path. It might all be fake in the beginning, but do it enough and stay on top of your thoughts enough and it will become like second nature and you'll notice that things just fall into place. You don't yell as much, you don't stress about the house as much and you just start living life...a happy life!

It's party time

Tonight was a blast. Being the type of mom I am, my son has had a “friend birthday party” only one other time in his life. Now before you think I am horrible and he is probably going to need therapy, let me tell you he has a BIG family party every year when ALL his aunt and uncles and cousins come over. So he still may need therapy later on in life, but it won’t be because he didn’t feel loved on his birthday. Lol So this year for his 12th birthday we decided to let him have a “laser tag friend party. Of course Mike and I played laser tag with them, that is just how cool we are! And they kicked our butts, that is just how OLD we are. Mike and I were both sweating. You would have thought we were one of the kids. It was so much fun, but I gotta say the highlight of my night was the arcade. Not because I am all that into arcade games but there was one point during the night I looked across the room to see this guy getting his groove on, doing the Dance Dance Revolution game. And to my surprise it was my husband. I mean yes when we are at home my man is a giant goofball. But when in public he is usually pretty reserved. But I guess Jake has been quite the influence on him ‘cause there he was shaken it in front of everyone. I couldn’t help but laugh. He had his arms going and was getting his swagger on!!!!! So tonight I encourage you to find your inner kid and have a little fun. I know we did and it was great!!!

Precious Moments

At about 5 am I woke up to the sound of my four year old breathing his sweet tiny breaths next to my ear, and his squishy little arm and his puggy little figures lying across my chest. I remember him crawling in bed sometime earlier and had since fallen back to sleep. I don’t sleep with my kids regularly because I don’t sleep that well when they are in the bed with me. But here and there I trade a few restless hours for such a precious moment. When he came into my room he left the door open allowing the hall light to spill into my room, gently lighting up his adorable features. Still groggy, I just soaked up the peaceful moment thanking God for the adorable little blessing lying next to me. I just stared at him, allowing the moment to be imprinted on my heart and carried with me forever. These are precious moments.

Do your best...Huh?

What is your best? All through out life we hear that common phrase, “Just do your best.” Well for those of us who are perfectionist, this concept gets hazy, ‘cause there is always, “I could have done better.” Ya know, “I could have worked harder, I could have worked longer.” And then throw this concept into the parenting arena, and we are wondering how much therapy our kid is going to need by the time they are 20, ’cause, “I could have done it better.” As parents we want to do a good job of raising good kids. We want them to know we love them, we want to be patient teacher to them, we want to have tea parties and play legos and firefighter with them, all the while teaching them Values that will help them throughout their entire life. We want to teach them responsibility and respect. And we want to have patience in it all. And as we see ourselves falling short of our “BEST” expectations of ourselves as parents it begins a destructive cycle.

For example your day might look like this… “You were up 1-AM with a crying baby and up again at 3-AM with a kid who insisted there was a monster in his closet, finally at 4-AM all were sleeping once again, then at 6:30 am the alarm goes off. You do your “best” to be bright eyed and bushy tailed getting your first grader out the door to school, but you feel like a truck hit you, so rather than make him a warm bowl of oatmeal like all the parents who do their “best” do, you throw a bowl of stale captain crunch in front of him. Now the “stale” factor is not actually your fault, the kids keep leaving the bags of cereal open when they put the box away. But it inevitably becomes your responsibility as you tell yourself you need to do a better job of teaching your kids how to take care a box of cereal. I mean how are they going to keep a job some day if you haven’t even succeeded in getting them to routinely fold down the cereal bag. Finally, with a kiss planted on his cheek, at 7:30 you send him out the door to catch his ride. You run back to your bed as fast as you can hoping your 4-year-old and 10-month-old sleep at least another hour. You lie there trying to catch up on some lost sleep, but in the back of your mind, your “do your “best” coach” is chanting, “Laundry, dishes, toilets, and mop the floor so when the baby eats off it today you won’t feel as bad.” Your body’s need for sleep wins this battle but the feelings of inadequacy are still there when you wake. Your 3-year-old pulls you out of bed after you finally quit thinking long enough to sleep for just 20 minutes. Again, stale captain crunch is what is on the menu. It was either that or try and feed her the baby’s instant cereal. After wards when you are cleaning up the spilled milk, you feel guilty, your daughter stuck her elbow in her milk and you yelled at her in the moment. And you are now telling yourself how you need to be a patient mom who doesn’t “yell over spilt milk”. Then the day is filled with a couple tea party’s and lots of house hold chores, when the baby didn’t insist he be front and center. That afternoon when the sacred naptime was almost near, you clean up the smeared jelly on the table from lunch and you begin to make the impossible list of all the chores you intend on finishing while the kids nap. Finally that afternoon you load the younger kids up and go pick up your first grader from school. The rest of the afternoon is filled with more chores, keeping the baby out of the toilet, putting your 3 year old in time out for coloring on the walls, and convincing your first grader that it is against the law to make water balloons inside the house. All while some how managing to cook dinner and wash a load or two so your husband would have clean underwear to wear to work tomorrow. And some how manage to get your first grader to his little league game at 7. After the game, the evening is filled with dinner clean up, followed by baths and a bedtime story. After kissing the kids goodnight and tucking them in 3 times ‘cause they need to go potty or get their “other” “favorite” teddy. Or tell you about an owie they just found. Once tucked away, “for sure”, you throw a load of laundry in the dryer. As you collapse into bed your “do you best coach” chants, “You need to be more patient, you need to have more tea parties, you need have a cleaner floor and definitely cleaner toilets. You need to read more stories. You obviously aren’t doing your “Best” because you can do better.”

Now obviously your day may not look exactly as the scene above, but I am sure many of you can relate to demands of Parenthood. And I challenge you now to take a look at what your best is. I remember when I had babies I would feel guilty for napping when they would nap sometimes. I thought I should be doing housework, or better yet, reading my bible or reading some book that taught me to be a better person. But the fact of the matter was, what I needed in that moment to be my “best” was a nap!!!

So I challenge you to define your best. Look at yourself Honestly, and have goals rather than expectations. Expectations are something we expect right away. Goals take time. And set realistic goals. Not goals that only parents who don’t require sleep can accomplish. And in those moments of “yelling over spilt milk”, go back and teach your kids one of the most valuable lessons they can learn, and that is how to say I am sorry. My definition of “Doing your best” is... Learning from yesterday, accepting who you are in the moment of today, and growing even more as the future days unfold.

Are we there yet?

So about 2 weeks ago I tried this new diet. It is called plan to go out of town during the hottest week of the year, and then have your air conditioning break the day you head home, and just watch the pounds literally melt off your body. The problem with this diet is it’s not an individual plan, the whole family joins you whether they need to or not. Yeah, it was quite a trip. I actually just got my air fixed the day before I left town. I remember thinking on my way down to Columbus, “Whew, I am glad I didn’t try to make this trip without air this week.” Little did I know I would get my chance. On our return date the kids and I took a trip to the museum that morning. It was then I noticed the air was not working. After my “bro-in-law”, Eddie took a look at it, he came to the conclusion it was out of that “stuff” you put in it that makes your air cold. Whatever the name of it is these days I don’t know, but apparently it is an expensive requirement. Oh yay, four kids in a Van, and the old kind of van, so the middle windows do NOT roll down and the back ones open just enough to make the van loud but not REALLY help much, on a 98 degree day, I am sure you can imagine my excitement. To be honest it sounded like a science experiment with all the ingredients of an explosion of siblings. But I had to get home, so I snatched a pair of headphones from my friends so at least Bo could hear the TV. And on my way out of town I grabbed a 7lb bag of ice and divided it into quart Zip-lock bags so we could all hold it on our way home. I also decided to leave at 7pm rather than 3 in the afternoon figuring the less I was driving with the sun beating down on us the better. The first 2 hours were rough, but the kids were troopers. At first the conversation between Bo and I went like this. “Mom, blah blah blah blah” said Bo. “WHAT!” I hollered back, “Talk louder!” “MOM! ROLL THE WINDOWS UP!” he asked “I CAN’T! It’s TOO HOT!” I hollered back. “WHAT!” he said. “I CAN’T! It’s TOO HOT!” I said again as loud as I could. “TURN THE AIR ON MOM!” He requested, wondering why I hadn’t thought of it I’m sure. “THE AIR IS BROKEN.” I replied. “NO DADDY GOT IT FIXED MOM!” He said so confused. “WELL, IT BROKE AGAIN.” I said. “WHAT” he said. “IT BROKE AGAIN!” I repeated. “WHAT MOM!” he said once again. “IT!- BROKE!- AGAIN!!!!!” I said as loud as I could. “Oh” he finally consented. I was hoping he wouldn’t talk to me the whole way home. Fortunately he tired of yelling back and fourth. And boy was it hot. At one point I looked in my rear view mirror at Timmy and Kate, who were in the very back and I could see sweat dripping down their sides of their forehead, and Timmy’s hair was wet and curly as if we put gel in it.
As for me I kept moving my bag of ice. Once my lap became numb to the touch I would shift it to my back and then to my neck. It didn’t stop the sweat from dripping down my back, but it helped a little. At least for 45 minutes and by then it had melted entirely. Finally about half way home we stopped at Wendy’s and decided to dine in. As we ate our meal we took ice and just let it melt on the back of our necks, and then before we braved the hot van once again, we ordered Frosty’s to go.
We finally made it home and I thanked the kids over and over for their great attitudes despite the “balmy conditions.”